College With My Boyfriend

juillet
Sat, 21 May 2016 03:15:31 +0000

The OP didn’t say she wasn’t ready to leave home; she simply said she was scared to leave home. That’s pretty normal for a teenager who is facing the prospect of living away from home for the first time. It’s possible to be excited and scared about something at the same time.

I’ve been with my high school sweetheart for 15 years, and married him almost 4 years ago, but one of the things that made us work (IMO) is that early on our relationship we made decisions that were best for us as individuals. We stayed together because we wanted to, but neither one of us compromised our careers because of the other. We did choose to go to college nearby each other - but that’s because both had full scholarships at our respective colleges and independently selected those places because they were truly where we wanted to go. (Later, when he returned to finish his bachelor’s degree, my husband did choose to attend the same university where I was attending graduate school - but by then we were married, so the calculus was different.)

So I’m not of the camp that says “you’re crazy” or ridiculous. Of course you’re not. I remember what it was like to be 17 and in love. It’s not at all ridiculous to want to be nearby the person you love, whether you’re 17 or 37. The question is really whether or not it’s a good idea or the right move for you. So I agree with the advice to ask yourself if this was a decision you’d make if you weren’t with your boyfriend. Of course you may have never known about this college in Indiana, or would be thinking about it, without him - that’s not what I mean. I mean, imagine that 3 months from now - in the summer, before you start college - you and your boyfriend break up with each other. Would you still be excited to go to this college in Indiana? Would you regret making the decision that you did? Think about the college itself. What appeals to you about it other than the fact that your boyfriend is there? You say yourself that the campus is beautiful and the program in your major is strong. Those are good things! (BTW, it’s not a problem if your boyfriend’s presence there is one of the reasons you want go to there, as long as it’s not the only or primary reason.)

I’m also going to take perhaps a somewhat unpopular opinion and say - even if you do decide to go to this college in Indiana for your boyfriend, it probably won’t be the end of the world. Most students grow where planted and you may love it despite the fact that you’re not with him anymore. And if not, maybe you transfer back home or something. You can’t predict the future, and I’m not saying you should go, but I’m saying don’t think of this as some OMG LIFE ALTERING DECISION that can never be undone.