Colleges for Non-Competitive Achievers

momofthreeboys
Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:28:47 +0000

Non-competitive could be very different than say - laid back. My oldest was so laid back he was almost prone. He doesn’t and didn’t have the classic “leadership” drive - however, he is a very good diplomat, friend to all, participates like the OPs son in ECs that interested him, lettered in 2 varsity sports, was often the “study budy” for his smarter friends because my son is a steady Eddie. If people suggested he run for an office he would just say “no thanks, not interested.” He’s a classic team player and go-to person…and not what I would call non-competitive…just laid back. He drives me nuts sometimes because I am the antithesis of laid back, but I suspect my oldest will do well in the workplace. On paper my son was, well boring as milk toast and so different than me…but when I watched my son speak with admins and other adults he was quiet, thoughtful, engaged…but not what I would call agressive and very different than the son I thought I knew. I understand him much better now. He’ll look people in the eye when he talks. I think we just shouldn’t confuse the term non-competitive with a kid who can’t thrive in an academic environment, or isn’t “interesting” or “didn’t live up to expectations”…it’s more of one of those intangible “fit things”. I suspect the OPs son will have a very good sense of where he’ll be comfortable when he experiences it during visits. My son from age 5 on would say “I’m not that type of kid” when I would push him. I’d say, why don’t you run for student council everyone knows you and like you they will vote for you…his answer…I’m not that type of kid. This type of personality often has a good sense of self, which is a positive and very mature trait in a young person even if they display every immature behavior that drives a parent nuts. There was a book that had the nickname “stealth” for one of these types! Remember he could be realizing his potential in ways that could be entirely different than your perception of what this should mean. One last thing, I used to feel the guidance office ignored but son…Now I just think they knew him maybe better than I in that environment and knew he’d take the competitive classes without a push and arm twist and knew he’d find a college that fit him. Good luck, I’ll enjoy following your journey and story.