Contact with Your Boarder: Frequency and Method

2010_hopeful
Sun, 19 Aug 2012 10:06:39 +0000

From a student’s perspective I think the amount of communication is really dependent on the relationship between parent and child, the amount of independence the child is used to, along with many other factors. I personally called my parents not as frequently as they probably wanted. I called maybe once a week as a minimum but there were those times that I wouldn’t talk to them more than a few times a month. I think e-mailing/texting is too impersonal so I stick to calling them, but whatever works for your child. Also, be sure to send some care packages every once in awhile to entice them to communicate more often.

My roommate, however, was a different story. He called his mom 6 days a week (not on Saturdays) right before he went to bed for about 30 minutes (or more). I bore witness to conversations ranging from anything. The A+s he received all his quizzes and tests, the intensity of every single one of his sports practices, and the dining options for breakfast, lunch and dinner were retold as he recapped his entire day from start to finish to his mother. Definitely don’t call your child right before bed, especially when his roommate would like to sleep and so he wouldn’t have to resort to listening to his Ipod in order to drown out the noise of his roommate, who just happens to talk EXTREMELY loud when he’s on the phone. (Sorry just had to vent for a moment).

My parents and I viewed boarding school as basically an early college for me rather than high school since I was close to 17 when I started and because I was already a sophomore at my public school before I enrolled at school so less communication was expected. I still can’t fathom going to a boarding school at age 14 so if you have a younger student it may make sense to communicate much more frequently than an older student, especially during the transition those first few months. At boarding school, at least from what I’ve seen and experienced, students are almost forced to create surrogate-like families that help support them when they need help or to merely to act as family figures in everyday life. My friends at school are more like brothers and sisters to me than just friends and I’ve seen students’ advisors act like parents for their advisees.

Also, the amount of time a student spends at boarding school is relatively small. With three month summer breaks, two-three weeks vacations interspersed throughout the year along with 3-4 day longer weekends every once in awhile, it might not seem like your child is away for that long especially if you live within a short driving distance of your student’s school.