Contact with Your Boarder: Frequency and Method

Periwinkle
Sun, 19 Aug 2012 18:46:42 +0000

Ask your child’s dorm parents to recommend the best time to call when you drop her off. Many schools have strict study hall hours, when students should be quietly studying. As Hopeful 2010 noted, it is distracting for other students to overhear your phone call. You daughter may feel bashful about sharing details when she thinks others must listen in.

We generally email, text, and receive phone calls. We tend to hear from them more often when they’re unhappy about something, or when they want something from home. There have been times we have had to call a child’s advisor to request a phone call home, or send firm emails.

The kids really appreciate small packages with treats from home. Almost anything will do–it need not be expensive or unusual. If you send snacks to a dorm, try to send a large enough amount to allow your child to share with friends. Most kids seem to share their treats readily with others.

I would suggest that you not call frequently in the first few weeks. (A good rule of thumb is that the period between the first day and Parents’ Weekend is an adjustment period.) Kids seem to make a habit of dumping whatever is aggravating them at the moment into their parents’ ears, then blithely go on their way(s), leaving the parents worrying about an issue which isn’t bothering the child anymore, after he’s been able to vent to a parent. Also, if your child is homesick in the first few weeks, long calls home can make him feel more unhappy, in part because it’s eating into the time he could use to meet his classmates. (I know this sounds counterintuitive!)

If you worry about your child, do contact her advisor and/or dorm parents. Don’t rely solely upon phone calls from your child, if your child seems to be acting in an unusual manner.

Read this thread through: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/390612-my-daughter-hates-boarding-school.html?highlight=hates

If you don’t have much time, compare Post # 1 to Post # 80.