Coping with depression caused by the college selection process...

pmyen
Tue, 01 May 2007 18:43:38 +0000

It is important to set educational and progessional goals for oneself-e.g., master a language, learn calculus, prepare for my chosen career. However, those goals should be worthwhile in and of themselves, and do not require the external validation of where you happen to attend college. In the process of applying to schools, you learned to work hard, excel in school, clarify your future goals, organize your time, etc.-all of these are important by products of your goal of applying to a good college. Obviously, you are a bright student and have done well academically. You will have many opportunities to build on that in the future. Remember, we are more, much more, than a college degree or a professional success. True happiness comes from within and is not validated by accomplishments (not that they are not important) but from those whom we love and care about, and also from ourselves. You are every good a student today whether you were accepted by an Ivy League school or not-it is not a reflection of your abilities or who you are as a person.

In the relatively small world of your high school, you have been highly successful and have never encountered disappointment or failure to reach a certain goal. However, this will happen many times later in your life. Even for Ivy Leaguers-they will find their wall, whether it be on the job or at home. How you respond to this can be a great learning experience. I also would really emphasize looking at the positive side of your circumstance. You have the opportunity to go to a great university, and if you work hard, you should have every opportunity to realize your career dreams. At the same time, college is a time to find out who you are, and develop the maturity, persistence, and character that will enable you to succeed professionally and personally in life.

I think your story also highlights the importance of choosing safety schools, particularly those that one would still enjoy attending. I do not know where you applied, but they must have been extremely selective schools to have turned you down if you had such outstanding credentials. Unfortunately, there are a lot of other kids with equally or perhaps even stronger credentials. Or perhaps they were looking for oboe players or lacrosse players, and you pursued theater as your extr-currricular. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to explain the admissions process. It is good that you applied to a safety school and are not scrambling around trying to find an unfilled spot at a random university. Now take advantage of it.

By the way, University of Wisconsin is highly respected worldwide, and from an international perspective, is arguably better known that some of the smaller Ivies that do not have large graduate programs and top LACs. Most internationals know about the major research universities in the U.S. and Univ of Wisconsin is definitely one of them. I personally don’t think one should choose college based primarily on prestige; however, if going to a name college is important to you, which seems to be the case, Univ of Wisconsin is highly recognized. Its faculty in some departments are among the tops in their respective fields.