Could anyone please grade my essay :)

music1990
Fri, 29 May 2015 13:15:46 +0000

What is this essay for? Is it a practice essay for the SAT?

When you’re talking about things that happened in the past, you should generally use past tense. I could give you specific examples throughout your essay if you don’t understand where this should be used.

More importantly, though you have some good examples of knowledge that has benefited mankind, the essay needs much more of your own individual insight. You should comment more on how exactly this knowledge brought happiness to humanity; you have summarized the lives and careers of Tesla and Braille, but have skimmed over the most important part. Spend less time summarizing facts, and more time synthesizing them with your overall argument.

Remember that you are expected to persuade the reader of your point, not give him a history lesson. Let me know if you have questions.