Could you please grade my essay?

stefkost
Sat, 26 Apr 2014 15:29:23 +0000

Thank you very much for your response.
From your remarks I can tell that you are quite knowledgeable about the SAT… are you a teacher or something?

That’s my problem, I can’t trace the “special” thing about good essays…
One perfect essay, as most commenters argue on the forum is this one:

Sample SAT "12" Essays - #2 by 8parks11 - SAT Preparation - College Confidential Forums;

I submitted my own essay at the official SAT online course test, i think it was practice test #1. They use the e-rater.

Also, could you do me a favor and tell me your opinion about this essay as well? (I think it might be worse than the 1st one)

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
We do not take the time to determine right from wrong. Reflecting on the difference between right and wrong is hard work. It is so much easier to follow the crowd, going along with what is popular rather than risking the disapproval of others by voicing an objection of any kind.
Adapted from Stephen J. Carter, Integrity Assignment:

Is it always best to determine one’s own views of right and wrong, or can we benefit from following the crowd? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

My Response

It is widely known that the masses shape the social standards of what is right and wrong. The crowd is always influenced by fashion as well as the constantly changing standards of each era, and can thus form a publicly accepted opinion of right and wrong. However, when someone passively follows the crowd without thinking and acting for himself, he gradually turns into an indifferent member of the mass, completely indiferent and apathetic. It is therefore of outmost importance that a person follows what they believe in. The revolutionary thinking of the famous rocket scientist Robbert Goddard as well as the radical actions of the protagonist of George Orwell’s “1984” comfirm the validity of this statement.
Almost one and a half centuries ago, Robbert Goddard, an American physicist with revolutionary ideas was attempting to built the first man made rocket to be launched from earth. His project was a minor one, and nobody thought that his plans would eventually succeed. Although his work in the field was anarchistic, Goddard received very little public support for his research. The press sometimes ridiculed his theories of spaceflight. However, Goddard’s creativity was later aknowledged, as his work led to the development of an entirely new field of studies, rocket engineering, with countless military, scientific and commercial applications, and set the basic principles of space travel. Goddards initial failure did not make him quit his work, and he continuerd to believe in his own principles of right and wrong, without following the social standards and without being influenced by the members of the scientific community that mocked his work.
An other example of a man who followed his own views or right and wrong can be found on the face of the protagonist of George Orwell’s novel “1984”. The protagonist lives in a dystopian world, where the goverment has eyes and ears everywhere and is aware of every single action of each citizen at any given time. The tyranny is epitomized by Big Brother, the divine Party leader who enjoys an intense cult of personality, but who may not even exist. Huge posters on the roads propagate the power of the government, by displaying the words “Big Brother is Watching You”. The governmental propaganda is so strong that every citizen in the country is convinced that two plus two ewuals five. However, the revolutionary protagonist rebels from this state of unfreedom and decides to question the social standards. His views of right and wrong differ from the unreal social standards, and although an entire country is against his ideals, he still has the courage and the mental strength to fight for his beliefs.
All in all, it is always best to shape one’s own views of right and wrong, as it adds a unique sense of individuality to human actions. The bright work of Robbert Goddard as well as the inspirational novel “1984” show us that it is not always correct to comply with the views of the majority. Acting otherwise might be dangerous for the spiritual well being of the individual, because he is consumed by the social standards that reign. This can deprive people of their individual potential and plunge them into passivity, thus promoting massification.