Couples moving to the same city after graduation

Marian
Fri, 01 Apr 2016 14:08:20 +0000

My parents won’t let me.

This could work if the parents have to co-sign the young person’s lease.

I’m not sure whether it’s convincing otherwise since the parents are no longer in control of a post-college kid’s lifestyle.

When my kids were in high school, they had total freedom to use “My parents won’t let me” as an excuse for anything they wanted, and I said I would back them up if they needed to use it. I suppose it could also have worked under some circumstances in college (for example, to back out of a spring break trip without hurting people’s feelings). But it doesn’t seem to be as useful for a college graduate.

You need to view this as an extremely serious commitment.

I don’t view it that way. Logistically, breaking up with an SO that you’re living with is no worse than breaking a lease if you have a roommate. It’s a much lesser degree of commitment than an engagement (which quickly evolves into giving large deposits to wedding vendors), a marriage (which requires legal action to dissolve), or having a child together (which is irrevocable).

Admittedly, if you’re living with your SO, you can’t just sort of drift out of the relationship the way you could if you lived separately. But breaking up is not the end of the world.