Critique and feedback for my essay please? :)

mochaswirl
Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:37:51 +0000

Hi everybody :)

For the October SAT, I guess I did not prepare as well as I thought I had because I earned an 8. I am considered a good writer but I just reread my essay and I don’t blame them for giving me a low score…in fact I felt so embarassed about my essay that I wasn’t going to post it here. BUT I decided that it’s better to get some more feedback from different people so that I can score higher next time and become a more polished writer.

PROMPT; Are people better off if they do not listen to criticism? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

ESSAY:
There are so many people in the world with a myriad of varying opinions, so it is virtually impossible for one to please everybody; therefore, one is inevitably always subject to critism. As demonstrated by several acclaimed people in different fields of our society, one may be better off by not being dependent on criticism.

Dr. Seuss is a prominent children’s author who is loved by many. His books are best sellers and his most famous book, “The Cat in the Hat” [I DID NOT UNDERLINE -___-] was made into a sucecssful movie. However, he was not well-received at first. His first book that he anticipated to get published, “And to Think I Saw it on Mulberry Street”, [I UNDERLINED THIS THOUGH] was initially rejected by twenty-seven publishers. The criticism was negative and people disliked his creativity. This led Dr. Seuss to seriously consider burnign the manuscript. If he had listened to the opinions of others and had changed his style or had chosen a different career path, he would never have become one of the most original and loved writers of all that he is today.

Walter Disney is yet another example of a person who did not listen to the criticism of others and instead continued to pursue what he believed in. His most famous animated character, Mickey Mouse, was disparaged by many critics. They insisted that women would be absolutely disgusted at a giant talking mouse. They coldly dismissed Walt Disney’s suggestions, telling him that he had no good ideas. Unshaken, Disney continued to develop his characters although he was discouraged. As a result, he has not only become extremely wealthy and famous, he has also created numerous magical characters that has won the hearts of many, regardless of age and sex.

A further example about a figure who has become more successful by not yielding to criticism is the Canadian painter Emily Carr. She had always been perceived as eccentric, so she was not accepted well by those around her. She received inspiration from the Native American art and subjects, and she ahd a great imagination. Her artistic style is strikingly unique – it is at once dreamlike but realistic. Especially as a woman, her profession and style was unconventional, therefore people were not afraid to throw discouraging comments at her. She ignored their opinions and continued to do what she liked. Now she is a respected painter whose style is adored by many.

Construction criticism can be very helpful at times, but one may actually benefit more from backing away from it rather than obeying it. Dr. Seuss, Walter Disney, and Emily Carr have proved clearly that one may have more to gain by believing in oneself and shielding oneself form what others have to say.

PERSONAL REFLECTIONS:
-I spelled criticism wrong
-obvious grammar mistakes
-perhaps I should have listed a VARIETY of examples? Such as one from literature, one from history, etc? Or is this fine? I’d like to get some opinions on this.
-perhaps I should have included more of my writing style into it rather than trying to hard to fit as much facts as I could remember?