Critique and Grade?

newbieSAT
Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:07:57 +0000

I am new to this forum. I came here because I thought it would be a valuable asset in trying to pass my SAT.

I was wondering if some of you experienced college students or parents, could you give me a realistic grade on this practice SAT essay? (I am assuming you are aware of the essay grading format)

I was using a college prep program so it was time and space limited - I wrote as much as I could! Some of the spelling errors were fixed afterwords - I know that’s not real! Gotta love auto correct!

I know this isn’t the best - looking over it again, I kinda cringe…but this was my first stab at it!

Thank you so much!!!

PROMPT: “The human mind prefers to be spoon-fed with the thoughts of others, but deprived of such nourishment it will, reluctantly, begin to think for itself - and such thinking, remember, is original thinking and may have valuable results.”
Agatha Christie

Why should anyone make a conscious effort to think ‘out-side-the-box’? Is it unnecessary?

ESSAY:

Agatha Christie was correct, these days everything is spoon-fed to us. Sometimes individuals don’t even recognize this failure, but, it has seeped so far into our beings that it would take a conscious effort to inverse it. We believe that we hear and then reciprocate that information to others. It becomes a vicious cycle that results in unoriginal thoughts and ideas. How do we expect to become wiser and a fresh influence on this world?

The entertainment industry these days aptly displays this concept. We become sucked into character’s lives via movies and television and thus can’t live and breath unadulteratedly. We have a unquenchable thirst to be amused. Do you know that that word actually means? The root is “not to think”. Many people can’t fathom how much this aspect of popular culture affects out lives today.

Similarly, as a girl, I see many peers salivate over the latest perfect pumps or the dress you could die for. they spend their time hoping and wishing for something they don’t have and being pressured that if they don’t have the Gucci handbag they are somehow inferior. You can’t let celebrities and ad agencies dictate what you think - even what you wear.

Whether it’s grabbing the newest addition to Kim Kardashian’s clothing line or gasping over the latest perfect movie scene…we are interlaced with common culture so consequentially that we cannot love and live our own lives. Originally.