Critique my Caltech essay?

hipster23
Fri, 02 Jan 2009 11:06:21 +0000

Can anyone please critique my Caltech Essay? The prompt is

Interest in math, science, or engineering manifests itself in many forms. Caltech professor and Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman(1918-1988) explained, ‘‘I’d make a motor, I’d make a gadget that would go off when something passed a photocell, I’d play around with selenium’’; he was exploring his interest in science, as he put it, by ‘‘piddling around all the time.’’ In a page, more or less, tell the Admissions Committee how you express your interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering.

Before answering this question, you might ask those around you - family, friends, or teachers - how they see you as a mathematician, scientist or engineer. They may offer insightful observations!

Thank you!!