<p>…hey, Dartmouth is a tough school; don’t let the SAT scores fool you.
If the spirit strikes, we’ll kick your lily-ase for stepping sideways across the green.</p>
Having just lost a tough game in overtime, the forlorn boys of the football team were informed that Dean of Admissions, Carl Furstenberg, had decided to move on to more effete concerns and predictably (…damn good coaching) overcome with joy, the offensive line started throwing their fists into the air in glorious celebration and, alas, into anything else within their sinewy reach (there were reports from those on the sideline that tears of joy were observed caking-up in the black-shading below their, now, ecstatic eyes). </p>
<p>…you know, not all of us geniuses wander the halls dreamily translating Cattalus: that’s just marketing. Sometimes we just wanna give out a good ase whooping. </p>
<p>Just a heads-up to the pencil-neck geeks awandering in the Hanover woods.</p>