Daughter has been lying to me!

yorkyfan
Tue, 10 Aug 2010 01:31:53 +0000

OP,
I sympathize with your feelings of anger when your daughter lies to you. My DD did the same thing to us. When we discovered a lie (telling us she was someplace when she was at another place, sneaking out of the house), we would give her a consequence. Recently she persuaded an older relative of ours to purchase liquor for a prom party. And she used my car to transport the liquor. So she cannot use my car until January 2011.

And, of course, I was furious and felt betrayed every time she lied.

She is a college freshmen now. During the month before she left, my H and I had a few long conversations with her about making wise choices and becoming a reliable trustworthy adult. In addition, we told her that we would always love her and stand by her but that she would have to face the consequences of poor decisions in college. We could not shelter her as we had done in high school.

But, because she is in college now, I feel calmer about everything. I have no control over her actions now. And she is not rebelling against me because I am not there. I recognize that she made many good decisions in the past in addition to the poor ones. So I am optimistic that she will do just fine.