daughter is blaming us

Lafalum84
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:30:21 +0000

Can a deposit be withdrawn? I thought they were non-refundable.

I suspect that D is nervous and unsure, feeling conflicted and not sure what to do with all this emotion, so lashing out at a safe target (mom) is the result. If she’s a “homebody” she’s feeling anxiety no matter which school she goes to. I can’t really tell from the original post if the “stretch” school was D’s dream or Mom’s, but it makes a big difference. I think her comment that Stretch U is urban and D has always enjoyed rural settings is telling - I suspect D is panicking about going away and it seems easier to her if she “knows” that her bf will join her in a year. But its entirely possible BF won’t get into that college, or will change his mind. (I wouldn’t mention the possibility of a break-up to her, she won’t want to hear that. And it may be her biggest fear - if I don’t go to college near where bf plans to be, he’ll dump me).

I suspect things will calm down when D gets used to the idea that high school (and basically life as she has known it) is ending, and it’s time to move on. That might not be till October though!