daughter is blaming us

_rentof2
Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:02 +0000

If I was in your situation, I guess I’d just make sure she understood that I was sincere in saying she can transfer after the first year if she is unhappy at the stretch school. In fact, I’d tell her I will help with the transfer application in anyway I can, and generally make sure she knows that I mean it.

I think it’s hard for some kids to move on into unknown territory, and the fact that she’s a homebody and is obviously very attached to you and to her boyfriend, would suggest that your girlfriend is right and this is a lot about separating.

I also have a homebody kid and I encouraged him to go to school far from home. Once your daughter actually goes and makes friends and settles in, the new school will feel like home too, probably, and she may be less likely to want to transfer when the time comes. …But don’t say that to her. Just support her in going for that first year and make sure she knows that if she’s not happy you will support her transfer application.

As to how mad she is at you… other than being willing to let her vent and be compassionate I’m not sure what you can do. Well, other than trying to engineer switching her school choice. I don’t know if that’s even possible at this point, but given the circumstances you’ve described, I probably wouldn’t make that choice anyway.