Daughter with cold feet. Please help

citygirlsmom
Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:05:54 +0000

seriouslly, do we want to shield our kids from all potential not perfect experiences?

what may be helpful about an overnight, is that the student can see that their worst fears or what could happen, will if they are ditched, they still lived through it!!

its like going in for an interview, we have posters here who are terrified of interviews, but once they do a couple they see that nothing horrible happened

at some point this student will need to be alone, need to rely on herself, need to put herself in an uncomfortable situation

shyness stems from fear- and it will never change until a person realizes that most fears are unfounded, and that nothing horrible will happen- maybe some unpleasentness, but do we always expect everything to be perfect

getting through something that isn’t ideal and coming out the other side makes most people stronger, and go wow, I did that and I am okay

I see these parents with their kids at Halloween or at the store, and the kid is hiding, and the parents, go well she is shy…and the kid is shaking, tense, nervous and not having much fun

I understand the “quiet and shy” personallity, but there is something to be said for at least trying something out of your comfort zone, because that is what life will require and often formally really shy people who have done just that find it easier each and every time the take that step

just some thoughts

I am not saying push to go away to school, or that there is anything wrong or bad about staying close to home not that

I am however, wondering why we as parents almost demand that each experience be pre ordained to be perfect for our kids

Most likely an overnight will be fine, but if its not perfect, well, life is messy and imperfect, so long as they are safe, we can’t control everything and we need to help our kids be more reliant on themselves and to get through a not so ideal situation

my D was stuck at an airport in england for 14 hours…it was quite the global mess, but she was calm, figured out how to pass the time, watched and felt darn good when all was said and done

would I have wanted that? no way, but it is a chance you take when travelling and exploring and checking things out that stuff can get messed up, that people will be annoying, that plans will fall through, that is what makes people’s characters- how they through the rough moments, not how they get through the perfect times