Defenses against jealousy

soozievt
Sun, 17 Sep 2006 11:57:21 +0000

Northeastmom, that story about the latkes and XMas cookies is something else! If they were going to take the latkes away, so should the other cultural traditions that were being shared or eaten.

Frankly, I think saying Happy Holidays is the way to go because it doesn’t assume everyone is celebrating the same religious holiday. We are constantly told Merry Christmas by others and it truly doesn’t bother me because I think they mean well. But there is an element of ignorance to assume that Christmas is a national holiday or something and not a religious one. We tend to say “thank you and same to yours” etc. because it would get tiresome to keep saying, “thanks, but we don’t celebrate Christmas”. I suppose we could return the greeting with “Happy Hanukah” but I don’t think that would go over so well.

During the winter holidays, we find ourselves “educating” people because so much of this comes up. If people ask about family get togethers and all the gift shopping, we explain that Hanukah is NOT a major Jewish holiday but that Christians assume it to be only because it happens to fall at the time of year when their BIG holiday occurs and so by association, they assume Hanukah is also big for us, but it is not. This is not a holiday when we go visit relatives, compared to doing so for Rosh Hoshanah, Passover or Thanksgiving. It certainly is not a buying gifts frenzy like Christmas is! Gifts are traditionally bought just for children. We are not buying adults and every person we know on the planet a gift. So, we are relaxed when everyone else is talking about the stress of the holiday. People assume we are doing all that same stuff, so we just educate them when the topic arises.

I realize we live in a community where we are one of the few NOT celebrating Christmas. This is a contrast to my hometown where there are many Jewish people and thus schools close for Rosh Hoshanna, and stores have decorations up for both Christmas and Hanukah (unfortunately I have not seen much of Kwanzaa ones). So, awareness is tied to some locations and people’s backgrounds.

Berurah, I don’t know what to say about your friend with whom you accompanied to church but I don’t know that she needed to apologize. You were exposed to her church and well, your eyes were opened. I have not seen any of my religious leaders in a temple talk of other religions that are going to go to hell. But I’m sure it was interesting to see what is preached in another religion’s venue.

For me, I accept and respect each person’s religion and do not think mine is “better” but it is simply mine. A woman who used to babysit my infant is a Jehovah’s Witness. From time to time, she stops by the house with her “Witnesses” to hand out information, etc. Frankly, I am against that sort of thing of trying to convert others to your religion but I know this is what she is taught and expected to do. I am always polite and I accept her pamphlets and I say I respect them and am willing to take the information but I have my own religion and I am happy with it and respect her for her religion.

Teaching respect of other religions can be part of school. Learning about other cultures, traditions and religions is a very good thing. Putting down others because they have different beliefs is terrible and so education is important. So, I am all for exposure at school to other cultures and religions, just not PRACTICING them at school.