Defenses against jealousy

soozievt
Sun, 17 Sep 2006 00:30:15 +0000

Alumother wrote:

we never really understand before how hard our traditions can strike others, to us they just seemed like wallpaper.



I think this is so very true. I think for some people, particularly those surrounded mostly by others who share their dominant religion, they come to just assume that everyone else is doing it too and is thinking the same way. It doesn’t even occur to some people (I see this in my area) that anyone else would even celebrate something different or wouldn’t praise Jesus or wouldn’t ever consider a Christmas tree and isn’t shopping for a month for presents (LOL, sorry but that last one is very true). It is almost as if their traditions are “the way” and anyone not with the program is the odd one out. Some, as you say, have no concept of how such traditions that are so part of whom they are strike others. Every year, innocent but naive people would ask the kids what they are asking for from Santa (forcing the kids to say that they do not celebrate XMas) or innocently ask if we are stressed out with all the holiday shopping for everyone (we are cool as a clam as we are not in a buying frenzy whatsoever and only get gifts for the children and nobody else), and things of that sort. Kids used to have to sell wreathes as fundraisers and we’d always be asked why we were not buying one and even if they knew we were Jewish, they coudn’t undersand why we don’t have one on our door. We are ALWAYS explaining. That’s OK, we are educating others who simply assume EVERYONE is doing what they are doing.

StickerShock wrote:

But soosievt, read my post. Dreidels are passed out (and they are decorating the walls, not just the Star of David) & Haunukkah lessons are conducted. But Jesus, Mary, & Joseph are excluded! It’s as if some 1984 scenario is taking place, where we all pretend a major religion --Christianity – doesn’t exist and we dare not slip up and mention Christmas. Rudolph has nothing to do with Christmas. It is a silly song from a 1970’s tv show.



I have to agree with walkermom here that a dreidel is not a religious symbol but a traditional cultural symbol and just a game kids play during this holiday. That is why I was likening it to Rudolph. Rudolph, Santa, a tree, a stocking, etc. are not like mangers and Baby Jesus. They are not religious in nature. So, if your school has Santa or Rudolph on the wall and also has a dreidel, sounds pretty equal. Frankly, I don’t see a need to have any of it at school, but I don’t see how Hanukah is dominant there. If a parent comes into the classroom, as I have done many times, to share cultural traditions about our holiday, such as a dreidel game, gelt, potato latkes, menorahs, I would be totally fine if another parent/family came in to share about their Christmas traditions or Kwanzaa, etc. rituals. It would be teaching about religious cultures as exposure. That is different than celebrating in religiously embedded traditions at school. My kid shouldl not have to write a letter to Santa and leave it under the class tree. My kid may sing holiday songs like Winter Wonderland, Deck the Halls, We Wish you A Merry Christmas, and hopefully there are also songs from the Hanukah and Kwanza repertoire, IF this is even going to be part of a choral concert. At our HS, it was ALL songs of the dominant culture and some had much more religious connotations. The end of the evening each year ended with families joining in on Silent Night. My children were not happy with this and felt uncomfortable. One is that the assumption is that everyone is celebrating that holiday and they were not. The song is about Baby Jesus and the birth of “our Savior”. You wrote that there is nothing bad about Jesus. Well, I’m not saying there is anything bad about Jesus but we surely do not worship him at all. You do and that is fine and I wholly respect your beliefs. Again, there is that assumption that we all think Jesus is wonderful and this is part of our culture. It is not. Jesus and other topics of such religious significance do not belong as part of the school activities. Studying religions and learning which have which beliefs and customs is educational. Celebrating and partaking in rituals is another thing.

I also do not think Christian symbols are banned in your school but Jewish ones allowed. A Rudolph/Santa and a dreidel/menorah hanging up are pretty equal. I would say that the Star of David was not the appropriate symbol and in fact, it is not associated with the holiday but with the religion, sort of like you have a cross. So, I could see not using that symbol. But it sounds like your school hung up something from each religious holiday.

I still believe it is far better to leave this out of school because school can be a “safe haven” where kids in the minority religion aren’t bombarded with being different, even if they are commerically and otherwise. I think there is ample time to celebrate your religious beliefs and activities at home, in the community and at church.

I also find it hard to imagine that a child in your school who wasn’t raised in a religious family would come to think that Judaism is the predominant religion UNLESS your school has a huge majority of Jewish students in the school population. There is WAY WAY more out in the every day world to let one know that Christmas is by far the more “popular” holiday. No kid in today’s commercial culture could be unaware of all things Christmas. Many, as in my community could grow up totally unaware that there are people right here who do not celebrate Christmas or do not worship Jesus, etc.

By the way, we get XMAS and EASTER off every year at our school and I imagine that is the case at yours. Those are two of your religion’s most major holidays. My children had school on every Jewish holiday including the most high holiest ones of the year, Rosh Hoshanna and Yom Kippur. In fact, one year our school had back to school night on Yom Kippur. My kids have had school sports games on Yom Kippur. Passover is another major holiday. You can bet that both sets of grandparents out of state were very unhappy that their children and grandchildren could not be with them on many of these holidays. Missing school to travel, missing required sports practices, etc. was just too difficult. Your children did not contend with this. Just pointing out a difference, not complaining. Surely kids at your school knew there were Chrisitan religions because the school closes for the big ones. I don’t know a kid alive in America today who is unaware of XMas and things like trees, Santa, and all the gift buying. Maybe a kid who never watched two months of commercials, saw an ad in a paper, a town strung with XMas lights and decorations, might be unaware and think that Hannukah was the main holiday. After all, there are so many commercials and decorations about town for Hanukah. Where I live, there are NONE. Finding Hanukkah candles each year is so difficult, that our families mail them to us from out of state. Finding a Hanukah card at the store to mail “gelt” to my nieces and nephews is quite difficult. But there are aisles and aisles of XMas cards. We have to locate Hanukah wrapping paper out of state as well. I don’t mind. I understand the majority aspect. But you could never convince me that the kids in your school, unless it were a Jewish school, would assume that Judaism is the only religion. Even if their own family embraced no religion, they’d have to live in a cave to be unaware of Christian holidays.

I respect your point of view, but I think you are unaware of how people who are not Christian feel about being forced to sing about Baby Jesus, have to go Christmas caroling, and things of that nature because those activities are, as Alumother says, like “wallpaper” to you. They are so much apart of your life, that it is hard to imagine that it is VERY much NOT a part of others’ lives. I don’t think your children are forced to sing the Hanukah prayers over the candles.

Well, as I said, this did open a can…and is straying from the original topic.