Deferred to Regular Decision... now what?

Olymom
Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:46:26 +0000

Tell him it gets darkest before the dawn. Our DS got deferred from #1 choice. Then there was a miserable week where there were 3 flat rejections, a girl friend who said good bye and a wait listing.

Thank goodness, a fine school said “Hey, we like what we see” and sent the fat envelope (fat email??). All of a sudden the sun came out and life was good.

But I think it might not be a bad time to put a map of the world on the wall (literally). Take a look with son and make a Misery back up plan. What WILL he do if he gets to April and has no college options? If you talk and joke about it now, you and he will be ready if that unfolds. Will he take a cheap flight to Spain and lie in the sun for a week? Will he serve burgers in Memphis? Go to truck driving school? Come up with a list that could work as a a starting place.

Tell him you love him no matter what. Tell him that those C’s may hurt him now but this kind of misery is survivable. Tell him about stupid choices you made when you were his age (he will like those tales). Tell him to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

If he doesn’t have a Food Handlers card, go WITH him to take the course and get it. (In our county it is ten dollars and a two hour class). Go WITH him as a show of support. Tell him it doesn’t hurt you to learn this stuff (it doesn’t) and with today’s economy even old dogs may be slinging hash and fries at some point. That Food HAndler’s card may be his ticket to summer employment – and a bit more of a wake up call that life as a happy high schooler ends in June.

Tell him, too, that high school pals and high school life that seems so intense will melt away after graduation. Right now it can seem like everyone else has their life together --and they don’t. Or it looks good on the surface. Tell him stories from your own group about the kid that no one noticed who is now an MD or a CEO. Tell him about the superstar from your days who is just an average Joe now. Help him see beyond going to school on April 2 with bad news when other kids will be euphoric.

Good luck!