Did I really mess up my essay?

howon92
Sun, 03 May 2009 22:03:36 +0000

can I hope for a 10?
I failed to use any literary, or historical examples…
I made my essay too broad.

Intro : Although there is a misconception that one should pay more attention to the old people, blah… it is better to emphasize the importance of young generations instead.

Body 1 : Japan’s old tradition was to respect and pay more attention to the old people, and they were considered upper class for their age. However, recently the gov. started to relinquish its old ideas and hail younger and more fresh ideas. In result, started to flourish more.

Body 2: The U.S. understood the importance of young generations earlier than others. It has welcomed the creativity of younger generations that the old experiences of elders. It led to the creations of innovative companies as google, ETC.

Conclusion : therefore, we should not pay more attention to old generations, but rather, to the young generations for their fresh ideas and creativity would derive more successes.


shortened version of my essay…
left like 5 lines of the 2nd page


can I hope for at least a 9? :(