Dilemma between Caltech and Columbia

sac
Tue, 18 Apr 2006 21:30:44 +0000

I sympathize! A week from the deadline, our son was “down” to deciding between four schools. He visited one on Monday and eliminated it, eliminated another on Thursday, we made out a check on Friday morning, tore it up Friday night. Saturday (deadline) we made him stand at line at the post office and hand the envelope to the clerk.

In terms of prestige, two schools he turned down were higher on the rankings you cite than Columbia. And, he went in thinking he’d be a physics major. We don’t think the prestige differential, to the extent it exists, at this level matters, as long as it is a place that gives you opportunities, and that sends its students on to good graduate programs. Now, the weather is an issue. But, my California kid turned down the sunshine, moans and groans through Januaries and Februaries, and still survives.

Two issues you haven’t mentioned: distance from home. Assuming you are in California, this is a challenge, especially for a quiet kid who might not make friends easily. We have a close relative in NYC and my kid spent a lot of time there first year, less so this year. I think it made a big difference for him to have that. The second is whether or not your son enjoys the humanities at all. He will have to take a lot of them at Columbia. I don’t think anyone should go there without looking at the reading list for the core classes and really understanding the requirements, which involve a lot of literature, philosophy, music, art, language, etc. Though my kid is more of a quantitative type, he has also always enjoyed humanities and for him the core was a major attraction, not something he had to endure in order to go to Columbia.

Though I understand your anxiety that your son’s decision might not be made on the best basis, the fact is they all make their decisions on whatever basis a 17 or 18 year old makes decisions. Could be where it’s easiest to get fake ids, where the girls look “hotter”, where their student host seemed like the nicest guy, whether it was sunny or rainy when they visited campus, whether they liked the architecture or the food…whatever academic reason they give their parents. Maybe your son sees himself at Caltech. Based on your description of his work habits and his thorough immersion in science, maybe it is the right place for him. I just don’t think that whether or not his gpa will suffer there vs Columbia is really predictable. If he goes to Columbia and hates the classes, feels he’s somewhere second rate, is overwhelmed by the social scene, he is not likely to do as well as he would at CalTech, surrounded by other people who may understand him better. He will grow as a person just by going to college. And, there is grad school if he wants to try his geographic wings.

As to the issue of getting used to not being the student everyone else turns to for answers, all our guys have to get used to that wherever they go. It’s another league. Get my kid started on the Hungarians or Ukranians or Russians in his honors math class at Columbia. He did fine. But he now recognizes extraordinary gifts when he sees them. There are plenty of brilliant kids at Columbia, many coming out of outstanding NYC science/math high schools. Figuring out how to do your best without being “the best” is part of what college is about, and a very good life skill, in my humble opinion – though not always painless. In some ways, it might even be easier to admit you are not the top of the top at Caltech, which gets the top of the top of the top when it comes to fields like math and physics.

Good luck over the next few weeks!