Discouraging Mother

mountainhiker
Fri, 14 Jun 2013 05:51:47 +0000

Hang in there, rareparadox. One of the most important things to learn is life is:


you can not control someone else’s actions - but you can control how you react to those actions.


It sounds like your mom has a certain way of trying to motivate you (through scolding) that really bothers you. You can’t change that - but you can change how you react to it. I expect that her scolding is coming from a fearful place - she truly wants the best for you (which in her mind is an excellent education) and she might deep-down be afraid you won’t be successful. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe in you or love you - she just might be feeling anxious and afraid, because ultimately this whole application process can be somewhat arbitrary.

Be respectful to your mother, and take ownership of the process. Spend some time this summer (notice I said “some” time, not “all the” time!) working on your applications or essays, or doing some test prep if you’re going to retake the SSAT. Most important - let her know that you also value a great education - but that you understand that a great education can be obtained at many different places in many different ways. Let your actions speak louder than your words: read books, get engaged in your community, continue in your favorite ECs, and try to be patient with your mom.

All the best to you!