Discussing Family, Good or Bad Idea?

collegemom3717
Sun, 06 Oct 2019 04:01:04 +0000

Look at it from the other direction: I’m an AdComm: what are you showing me about why our school would be a better place if you were part of the community?

Your first paragraph is too irritating for me to even write helpful comments about (I did try). Pretentious is the least of how things like details about just how rich and powerful your relations are and why that has inspired you to do finance (or whatever) comes across.

Your parents story is sweet- and not a reason for you to pick a college OR a college to pick you.

Your Harvard paragraph is the closest to saying something about you- but it’s a whole long paragraph about somebody else, and just a sentence about you.

It kind of comes across as if the reason your “application would be incomplete” if you didn’t discuss your family in one of your essays is b/c they are your best selling points (rich / important relatives- possible donors! double legacy! but also implied recent ‘first generation’ / deserving poor / and, oh yes, another legacy.

Your essays are the link between your stats, ECs, and LoRs: they fill in the gaps, add color and dimension, and highlight the parts of you that aren’t already obvious. Make them about you.