My advice, if money is tight, is save your visit for the first fall break or a parents weekend in the fall semester. By listening to your son and giving him the independence he THINKS he wants you will get big parental points. And then when he finally realizes he needs you and misses you and wants to show off the school you can arrive and he will be willing to share more with you. This way you will get a much better view of what his life is like. Ithaca can be quite beautiful in the fall as well.
We saved our money and decided to attend D’s first performance at school later in freshman year and ditto on the move in expenses. In fact I remember that D’s school had a similar parent orientation on move in days.
I went to the separate parent orientation. It was very good and fun. However my daughter wanted me to come. She was nervous. I think the comments above about saving your money and going when your son realizes he wants you there (and he will) are very wise. Let him go on his own to orientation if that’s what he wants. You’ll have lots of time to get to know the school, his friends, the program in the upcoming years. He will love having you there in a very short time (just not at orientation or move-in).
Don’t you kind of have to be there at move in? Or you mean your child gets their stuff moved and they send you home an hour later after driving all day.
No, not everyone even goes to move in day. We flew with my D to move in just because it seemed like a fun vacation. We dropped her off at her dorm and 45 minutes late we were on our own. She could not wait to get us out. (we did not attend the parent orientation ---- she needed to be oriented, not us)
You didn’t have to move anything in? I am certain my son will kick me out within 15 minutes. So thats how move in goes? Unload, goodbye?
For some…yes. Only you forgot the part where the parent cries in the car (after they get the boot)
Some parents and kids are a little more independent than others. This isn’t a judgment call, just a fact.
I think S’s school has at least a half day function like D’s did with a BBQ and whatnot. I booked an extra two days just to stay and get settled in to being an empty nester as long as I paid the airfare.
@saintfan Don’t forget to make dinner reservations a Nola! Or the other fantastic N.O dining spot of your choice. And mmmmmmmmmmm breakfast at the Camelia Grill. Enjoy!!
Oh I wasn’t implying NOT to go to move-in! I was just saying he may pretend not to know you during move-in. It’s a stressful time for them. And many seem to want you out of the room asap (not my kids however). I would suggest trying to talk with your student about it. I asked my daughter for both orientation and move-in what her expectations were. I did make my wishes known as well. We did go to the convocation and “free!” picnic lunch together. I wnted something for all the money I was spending. There were tons of families there and she was comfortable with that. But I would suggest a straight-forward conversation about it. They get to say their part and you yours. It can be stressful and if people are running on assumptions there can be clashes. My one regret was not discussing even briefly “communications” after we left. I had the idea that we wouldn’t hear from her besides one or two check-ins. She seemed a bit confused my giving her so much space. She needed a little extra support during transition. Probably parents will be the ones “hurt” in most cases. But I wish I would have talked with her about that. It would have made the first couple of weeks easier I think.
Sorry to write so much I just realized my comments on check-ins could have been confusing. We were at move-in 3 days and assisting her for 3 days. She wanted us there and needed a little extra support. It is what it is with kids. She could also have used a few texts each day in the first month (I thought a few check-ins over a week would be fine). Testing each day may seem excessive to some but she needed that support. Also the world has changed and communication is so much easier. So she was just confused at my silence…wouldn’t you be? Haha. I’m not the quiet type.
BTW—In my initial response I confused “parent orientation” with “Parents day”. (did not go to either)
@cellomom6, Jealous! We visited Ithaca this spring and our D liked it, but I was way on board! What’s not to like there? The restaurants, the galleries, the hiking trails (not to mention the wine and craft beer trails…), the lake. Okay, it was darned cold! But that is one locale I could definitely see making all the parent weekends. Probably means it won’t happen…Congrats!
@greatchoir it is my S going to Ithaca. Sorry I’ve confused the thread.
Ah, momsings, I see I didn’t read your post carefully enough. So you are the lucky one!
Prior to the start of my S’s freshman year he was at a music camp on the other side of the country and needed me to meet him with the rest of his stuff for school (instead of coming all the way back home and then back east again). He had to attend international orientation which is 2 weeks prior to the start of school so there was no one around in his residence or on campus when he moved in. Was nice for me because he let me hang out in his room and wander the campus with him (which never would have happened otherwise). There was a a parent orientation during this week but I left the day orientation started. He was ready for me to be gone - lol.
That sounds like it worked out great for you!
It’s more of a way to figure out what sort aesthetic your teachers/institution is judging things by. I went to all the orientations and learned a great deal from each one.
That’s what I was thinking. Plus it’s to the first kid going to college and music school and I love the CCM campus.
Attended D’s summer orientation for UMich and the parent-orientation organizers were fantastic. Parent activities rarely overlapped with the kids, but it was a good chance to hear lots of the same information about finances, grades, health, etc.; Made some good parent-music friends, and since I was the main transportation system to and from a summer program, just seemed easier to go along!