Does having overnight company make you physically ill?

atomom
Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:36:17 +0000

My parents are(were) WORKaholics. Dad has to have a list of everything that needs to be fixed in my house before he visits. He cannot sit down and relax. He always brings all his tools with him, (10 hour drive) too.
“Oh, too, bad,” I’d say, “I guess you can’t do THIS job because you need a POWER SAW (chain saw, soldering gun, blowtorch, whatever), and we don’t have one.” “No problem,” says Dad, “I’ve got it right here in the back of my van. . .”
(H is NOT a handyman and never fixes a thing–and this gives dad an opportunity to keep busy, and also to swear about how “SOME people would just let the house fall apart around them,” etc.) And they will cook, and clean up. And criticize everything–mostly how messy the house is, how the kitchen isn’t organized right, how they just can’t see how we can stand to live like this. They scare the kids with all their negativity. And when they walk out the door–they only stay for 3 days because mom goes by the “fish and visitors stink after 3 days” rule–we all collapse, exhausted and relieved. I wish they would just sit and talk! This is how “unreasonable” they are: We moved from Hawaii back to the mainland when I was 8mo pregnant with my 7th child. We had u-hauled our stuff which was in storage from a town 4 hours away. It was late Aug. H started a new job, some of the kids started school. A month later the baby was born. My parents came “to help” this time (never before) because H had a bicycle accident and was having surgery the day after the birth. After 2 days mom said, “Well, we were going to stay one more day, but Dad just can’t stand THE MESS.” (There were a few unpacked boxes hidden in the corner of MY bedroom–which they were not staying in–They were so angry, they just couldn’t figure out what the heck their lazy D had been doing the whole month that she still had boxes sitting around!!!) Well, there were several similar episodes over the years, and I can’t say that I am unhappy that my parents can’t visit anymore. (Except I’ve had to hire a handyman. . .)
Now, visiting them was another story–They have 7 kids/23 grandkids–everyone slept over anyplace–extra beds, couches, floor, etc. Everyone walks in without knocking and is given a beer or a cup of tea and snacks right away. Everyone gets into the kitchen and helps themselves–as long as you wash your dishes, it’s fine. They are great hosts, but as guests they run me ragged.