Does he have to stick with this to the end?

somemom
Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:42:56 +0000

I am in agreement with those who say drop it if it is no longer meaningful.

My DD was on track to be a varsity sport captain, but her coach also coached the club team and the spring of grade 11 he just gave her fits; he seemed to pick on my Dd and another sensitive girl. It was like he was trying to toughen them up. I am not sure his motivation, but he seemed to choose odd actions that almost were designed to hurt the feelings of each different girl. 1/3 of the starters never had fits, the other 2/3 could be in tears more often than not.

He was delightful to the parents, but we still could see the girls being very unhappy with him and his behaviour caused a great deal of drama. I asked our GC about it and he said to do what my DD wanted to do and I struggled to believe that, but we did support her when she chose not to stay on the team after the first week. It was the right decision.

The list of ECs is just some boxes to check, the way it makes a difference in the app is how it has shaped or matured your student, how the experience affects the essays, etc. I did not like the way this coach was shaping my DD.

My next DD never was cookie cutter, always did what she wanted, not what was recommended and her admissions results were fantastic, better than D1 who was doing what she ‘was supposed to do’

Re: the coach, I waited until the end of DDs senior year and then talked to the admin and I did not whinge about the things that drove me crazy, the emotional issues; I gave them specific provable issues and guess what, they told him he could not be a coach any more and he left the school…the admin was aware of the emotional issues and actually told me they were impressed with our reserve at the time DD quit…they thought we would be in raging and we said nothing and even supported the team at events as we knew the other girls. So, we were classy and did not sink into the gutter and it worked well.

It was not as fun to complain about boring provable things, but those were the items that could empower the school to deal with this coach. I wish there were a format wherein a coach like this could have been counseled on technique, he seemed to be a nice guy, he knew the sport, but he was not good for the girls emotions and we all know how emotional things get for a group of 16 year old girls!

BTW- D2 is now a senior, she played a sport for the first 3 years, but has not had fun with the team dynamic. Had she pursued it she could have likely been a captain and repeated at a national award level, but it was not pleasing her so she is not playing this year…we will see what happens with med school apps, the accolades would have been nice, but it would not have been a positive experience and that is what it is all about…not having items to fill in the boxes, but who those experiences have shaped one to be- are you a cookie cutter grade grubber, automaton or are you pursuing your interests and becoming a more interesting person??