Don't send you daughters too far away to college.

jym626
Fri, 05 Aug 2005 09:52:59 +0000

I have only scanned this thread, and apologize if I am being redundant. I have a dumb question. Is it really that much harder to separate from a daughter as a son? I don’t have girls, so this is unfamiliar to me. But I can identify with the feeling that they are growing up and leaving the nest. Older s. came home for a few days from his summer job (with 12+ friends in tow). There were young adults in and out of here for 3 days (it was fun) and no sooner did they leave, than s. was off on a plane to meet up with them in S. Florida (there is a girlfriend involved too). Younger s. got to spend 1 day with his big brother (and the are very close). We are hoping to have about 1 week with our s (he’s expected back Sun morning) before he heads back to college. And he’s only 19. I can only imagine that the visits wil become less frequent as his circle of friends continues to increase, and his activities and opportunities take him all over.

I went to college about 1 1/2 hrs from my parents, but then went to grad school 1000 mi away. After grad school, I looked at a variety of job opportunities, and selected one that is a 2 hr planeride from my parents. Hubby and kids came into the picture after the job selection. No extended family on either side at all in our area. This is actually a bit sad. I would like to have some family nearby, but I don’t.

Backhand-
Your feelings are understandable. I have always imagined that as the mother of boys, we will be the “B list” grandparents, when the time comes. There is always something about girls and their moms. And for this bond to be strained for you is so sad. I am sorry. I lost my mom a yr and a half ago, and I still have this impulse to pick up the phone and call her when something good happens for one of the boys. It’s hard not to be able to do that.

I think that this is just a phase. Your daughter is young, and wrapped up in a lot of her own stuff right now. But is sounds like you have a long history of postive experiences with her. This bond won’t break-- its just stretched a bit thin right now. Hang in there.