Don't send you daughters too far away to college.

iggal
Mon, 08 Aug 2005 21:37:59 +0000

BHG, you can be sure that happenstance, rather than your decision to send your daughter 1000 miles away, led to the results you justifiably deplore. I sent my firstborn, a daughter, 3000 miles away, from West Coast to New England. She came back here when she graduated while her boyfriend moved for grad school from here to the same university she had just left. Then they broke up and she took up with a young man who had been at college with her but had found work out here. His parents had just moved from Maine to the S.F. Bay area to be near their son. Despite her proximity to us, she spends much more time with his parents, but I realize that she has always wanted to be independent - in fact, I encouraged her to be. I think she feels like more of an adult with his family, and since they have no girls they are delighted to have her around. Have you ever considered becoming a CASA (court-appointed special advocate) in your spare time? You can have a wonderful long-term grandmotherly relationship with a child or sibling group who desperately need attention and mentoring. It sure took my mind off my problems.