Don't send you daughters too far away to college.

Private_Joker
Tue, 09 Aug 2005 00:44:32 +0000

Thinking about your situation, I realized that I don’t know my paternal grandma that well because of what you’re worrying about: distance and loss of contact. My paternal grandmother lives far away from me while my maternal grandparents live fifteen minutes from my house. I’m very close with my maternal grandparents. They’ve seen me grow up. It’s as if they are my second parents. Growing up and even now, I practically lived at their house, visiting them as often as I do. My mom has a great, intimate relationship with her parents and so do I. I barely know my paternal grandmother, though. In my entire life, I’ve visited her once, when I was six. The distance is a major barrier between us. She lives in the Carribean, which is nearly five hours by plane from where I live. This isn’t so bad, but my father doesn’t keep contact with her and it’s not as if my mom is pushing for me to see my grandma.

But, BHG if you work at it, I think you can have a wonderful relationship with your grandkids. You seem compassionate for your family and that always goes a long way. You’ll be that grandmother who the grandkids are always excited to see. Because you don’t see them as often, their memories of you will be that much more special. You may not see them grow up from day to day when they’re one, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have an important role in their lives. After all, your grandkids won’t remember that you weren’t there when they took their first steps.