Dreams Being Crushed

neatoburrito
Mon, 13 Jan 2014 08:40:13 +0000

It kind of seems like your mom has been telling you all along that she’s not going to pay for boarding school. Am I right? (my memory is a little fuzzy) So I’m not really sure that she’s crushing your dreams as much as trying to get it through that she’s not paying for it so even if you get in, you can’t go.

It is folly to hyperfocus on one aspect of your life, in your case, going to boarding school. Sometimes, you have to make things happen, change your own situation and make the most of it. My daughter was faced with crushing waitlist after waitlist two years in a row. Did it depress her? Yeah, of course. But she pushed forward, took college classes, made a plan to just graduate high school at 15 and move on from there. Boarding school for her was part of her dream to get a top education without being the youngest kid in the building. But it wasn’t her entire dream. In the two years without boarding school, she still followed her dream; it just wasn’t easy or convenient. She was able to do this because at that point, bs wasn’t an option. It wasn’t giving up as much as facing reality. Then, some time in November of last year, she said that she would like to apply to at most, three schools, because she really didn’t want to start college so young.

I guess what I’m really trying to say to you, Dear, is don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on something that is largely out of your control (your parents paying for school), especially when they’ve made it pretty clear that they aren’t paying for it. Find some tangible goal that doesn’t depend on the actions of others. It’s easy to fall into a trap of “oh, if only…had happened, I would be happy.” This is not the attitude of successful people.

I hope everything works out for you and that you find happiness. I know that it just doesn’t seem fair some times. I wish your mother were supportive for your sake, but I don’t know her, don’t know her reasons, etc so I can’t really judge. It’s pretty obvious that you’re upset, however, and for that, I’m really sorry. Again, don’t pin your happiness on things that are largely out of your control.