Drinking issue at Dartmouth!

Olymom
Wed, 09 Nov 2011 22:39:15 +0000

DartmouthFather is proud – and relieved. I get that. But ease up, will you, please? There are still lots of miles to travel with Offspring and there are two miles of ditches for every mile of road.

Here’s where I come in: S1 is a recent Dartmouth grad. I am proud, proud, proud of that kid! But as smart and as wonderful as he is, he has made and will continue to make some choices that I just don’t get. Our risk levels are different, even if our value sets are mostly similar.

What other parents may find interesting is our S2 who is attending a much smaller, public college (nowhere on the Top 100 Colleges list). S2 has struggled with ADD and, after a disasterous freshmen year (we’re talking miserable grades) we finally had the Executive Functioning tests for him that showed how his brain works. It was startling and enormously helpful. Finally, after years of knowing how smart he is, we get to a point where structure and the right medication let him show the world his talents.

Eventually (I hope!) S2 will graduate with a degree from this small college with a GPA that will be, most likely, modest.

And I think S2 may be every bit as smart as the Ivy Leaguer. (Maybe smarter because his risk assessment is closer to my style).

We need to love each of these kids as Imperfect But Worthwhile.

And we need to be careful about crowing about their successes because those successes are partly luck or a roll of the dice (perhaps this year’s prettiest girls are hanging out in the Dartmouth Outing Club instead of the Fraternity basement).

Don’t get me wrong – parental teaching is hugely important. But those who make different choices or “wrong” choices are just as worthwhile — and not necessarily a reflection of poor parenting either.