ED Regret—what should I do?

Quorhr
Sat, 03 Jun 2023 21:50:20 +0000

This fall, I decided to ED to a T10, when my grandmother wanted me to REA to a T5 nearby where she lived. The T10 was my dream school for many years, and very reputed in my major of choice. For my ideal career path at the time (academia) both schools offered equal opportunity. I got into my ED and was elated. I was very happy with the result for a while. Then, after decisions my grandmother got very sick, which made me begin to regret not attempting to go to school nearby her. Now I will be hours away. Then, around the same time, I started dating a girl who I really like. She is one of the most beautiful and kind people I have met. She ended up committing to the same T5 in the spring. We broke up recently because of distance. In addition, my thoughts on career have been changing, and now the careers I’m interested in marginally benefit the T5 over the T10. I was really excited for school next year, but it seems like the world keeps on spitting on my decision. If I just went with the T5–even though it was unlikely it would fall—I could have a chance at resolving both of these issues in my life. My grandma would have company and I could continue this relationship I care about. The frustrating thing is that none of it has to do with myself, but other people in my life. All this could be achieved while attending a school that is greater or equal to the current one I’m enrolled in. How should I deal with these emotions and let myself move on?

Maybe this is premature, since it’s fresh off both of these things being on my mind.