Elderly parents

GladGradDad
Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:41:18 +0000

2kidsnoanswers:

I think you or one of your siblings should try to convince your parents to accept your help or at least to help you by giving you some information. Many of the elderly are subject to fraud and simply mistakes that can end up costing them a lot of money which can in turn affect other practicalities such as whether they can afford to live in assisted living facility or a nice nursing facility. They need to understand it’s in their best interests to involve a helpful child such as yourself before any damage is done. They also need to know it’s in the best interests of their kids as well financially, logistically, and for peace of the kids’ minds.

This might involve helping them out by using their own finances to make sure the bills are paid on time and so they don’t pay lots of late fees or get canceled from something like long term care insurance or secondary health insurance due to non-payment of the premium. You can also help them by suggesting less expensive ways to get what they want - i.e. if they’re paying people for services who are charging far more than the norm or something.

The above can be made simpler if you have online access to their banking. You could setup bill pay and monitor that it’s all done correctly.

On the health front side it’s best to have some confidence they’re taking any meds correctly since this is another area that suffers once they’re not as cognizant as they used to be and it can be dangerous.

In addition, if something does take a quick turn for them, you need to know where their important documents are, ideally things will be put in a trust so you can try to avoid probate, you could take care of their financial business if needed, etc.

Of course that all requires their cooperation but it’s best to start working on that now since it can be too late later. I don’t mean to sound morbid - just practical.