Engineering Joke

boohahaha
Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:48:55 +0000

Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where
did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The first engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn’t have fit.”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half- empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”

The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with
him.”

[Dramatic pause] “Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us?
They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free
anytime.”

The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think
I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy
and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?” The graduate
with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?” The graduate with a Liberal
Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints.”

Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”

The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Seven
“Normal people … believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion
and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, “I like both.”

“Both?”

“Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
work done.”

Comprehending Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him And
said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back
into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it Back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a
beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a week, and do anything you want.
Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”