Essay for NYU... please help me

binx
Fri, 15 Oct 2004 02:10:40 +0000

My initial response is negative. (Sorry. I’m a writer, and I’m rather used to brutal give and take on my writing, and know that it’s not necessarily easy to take. But we want to get you into college, right?) Here’s what struck me as negative: It took you a lot of time and mental effort to get someone to stop causing you pain??? Are you afraid of people? How will you ever survive college?

Here’s how I think you should fix it: Talk about yourself more, and your growth as a person. Talk about why speaking up was so difficult for you, and how you are changed. Are you a people pleaser? Extremely respectful of adults? Those aren’t necessarily bad qualitites, but show me why. If this happened a long time ago, and you have changed – say so. Colleges are looking for leaders and survivors and creative thinkers – people that can cope with roommates and professors and new experiences. This essay says you are way too passive. What can you tell them in this essay that will make them say, “We want this kid here!”?