Excessive Parent Involvement = Chronic Child Dependency (CDD)

SuNa
Thu, 25 Jan 2007 10:04:11 +0000

Here are some “notes” from abroad that might make us all feel a little better. My husband is from India and a close friend of mine’s husband is from Italy. These two guys have a hard time understanding why we moms don’t want to support our kids for their entire lives. For example, when I mention our daughter’s upcoming graduation from college in terms of her self-reliance and our years of supporting her coming to an end, he looks at me as if I’m completely selfish! My friend’s husband does the same to her.

When we lived in Latin America, we learned it is quite common for kids to live at home UNTIL THEY GET MARRIED, which can be in their late twenties or later.

And . . . my husband and I are “watching over” the 24-year old son of old friends from a Mediterranean country, who is here in MN to study. He is a delightful young man, very respectful and obedient to his parents (see any contrast to American kids here?) but he is absolutely clueless about how to make decisions about transportation, apartments and choice of school programs. All those decisions were made for him back home, where he lived through college and beyond.

So hey, I think we’re doing something right (although “right” is just a cultural concept, I know). Let’s give ourselves a medium-sized, collective pat on the back!