Excessive Parent Involvement = Chronic Child Dependency (CDD)

cptofthehouse
Wed, 24 Jan 2007 14:24:04 +0000

We know a family who moved to Cambridge when the son was accepted to Harvard. Son is now in med school doing well, as is the family. He did manage to survive the micromanaging. He was much later than most kids in meeting certain adult milestones, but his fine. Another moved when son went to Penn State Honors College. So son could commute. So far, so good. He too is in med school. I could go on. But then every single one of these kids were exceptionally high achievers and it could not have been purely their parents help (or maybe hinderance) thata made them successful. At other levels, I don’t know. But what I have seen has certainly gone the opposite of my predictions.

I know a reknown surgeon who needs a guide outside of the hospital. A famous conductor who needs full time practical help. These are prodigies that never grew up in some ways, but I think they are also handicapped in some way too, and it was not their parents overinvolvement that they are the way they are, but their parents overinvolvement ensured that their gifts came to full bloom despite their unawareness issues. No way those two navigated their way through the training needed to get where they are without heavy support from parents. Thankfully they were good enough at what they do that someone else took them on after parents let go. Most of us are not lucky enough to be so talented, but there are kids that may need help longer than others and more intensively, to get to a certain achievement level. I don’t know the answer, but I wish I could have micromanaged more with my older ones., even while I wonder if I micromanaged too much. LOL.