Excessive Parent Involvement = Chronic Child Dependency (CDD)

lonestardad
Thu, 25 Jan 2007 17:16:22 +0000

As we know, every child is different and “one size” in terms of parental advice and involvement may/will not suit another child in the same family. But with that said, count me as one of the parents that provides plenty of advice (often based on research) that my two sons can take or leave (as “it’s my life” as the saying goes). For instance, for one son who is exploring different career options I have set up informational interviews with professionals in law, marketing, accounting, and other areas. With some of this input from the professionals and his own decision process (partly assisted by his visiting with a career counselor - one of my employer’s perks), he has ultimately decided to attend law school (not my career choice but his). The other son is more job-after-college focused so I have helped him especially with mock interviews and advising him where to research particular companies, etc. He also visited with a career counselor.

My son the future barrister is doing extremely well academically at college and is in a very good position to have solid law school choices (assuming he does well enough on the LSAT). As a high school senior, I helped point him toward the opportunities at his particular university but he is the one that has taken full advantage of them (including extra-curriculars). My other son has been the “steady Eddie” type of student who with some fits and starts will now be graduating in June. I offer plenty of advice to him but tailored to his interests.

Like lots of parents who provide extensive advice to their kids, I am one of those that wish it could have been provided to me way back when so some of my school of hard knocks experiences may have been avoided.