Excessive Parent Involvement = Chronic Child Dependency (CDD)

uskoolfish
Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:09:46 +0000

Sometimes the intention of involved parents is to help lead their children towards greater independence. My husband has contacts through a friend that will allow my daughter to intern at a pretty major PR firm over the summer. (She is a high school junior.) My husband made the initial phone call to set up the internship, but now it is up to my daughter. True, she may at first need my help getting out the door properly dressed and making it on the train to the city on time each day, but after that she is on her own. Is this meddling, hovering or being over-involved? Ultimately she will do with this opportunity what she wants.The connections she makes, what she learns, and the recommendations she gets will all be of her own doing. I think she will be gaining far more independence this summer working in the “real world” than if I had her find a local job on her own in a camp (which she has done) or store with her friends in our town. And if I could help her (through connections) get her first job when she is out of college, I would not hesitate as long as she upholds her part of the bargain…which will always be to work hard and do her best!