FAFSA and Parents Income

medavinci
Mon, 17 Sep 2012 00:32:56 +0000

I am in a very difficult situation and hate having to put myself out here on a public board. My husband and I have been separated from May 2011 to present. I have filed for divorce and am doing it myself, because I can’t afford an attorney. It was a domestic violence situation, and I have a protective order in place. My daughter had been in private school for many years (2005-May 2011), but after his arrest, I had to put her in public school, because we could no longer afford it.

She got sick from the first day of public school (she has a compromised immune system and has hashimoto’s thyroiditis and chronic lyme for years; and she has hypoperfusion of the brain (not enough blood flow) from the lyme, which causes cognitive issues - it takes her a long time to process information, and she never finishes her SATs - I applied for accommodations last June, and just heard from them. They won’t give her accommodations since they want neuropsyche testing done with reading and writing; she had neuropsyche testing done in Jan 2012 to see if she had MS, and she failed worse than an alzheimer’s patient; thus, the brain spect which found the hypoperfusion - she does have accommodations at school however).

On doctor’s orders (and my own decision), I took her out of public school because of a mold allergy. She was on antibiotics and steroids from Sept 11-Feb 2012. The school would not do a “Tools for Schools” assessment, so we had no choice but to leave, as the sinusitis was so bad, she nearly had to be operated on. Her doctor said it was too toxic.

I had to find another school to take her, because there was not another public school in our district, and I could not go out of district. My daughter did not want to repeat the year. Three of her six teachers at public school either lost, threw out or didn’t remember her taking her mid-terms. It was a disgrace, and her gpa dropped. I called the school weekly and got no results. I sent emails as well. I wrote the supt and he bucked it to the asst supt who finally called me in July said “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do about it. We did reprimand the teachers.” I was told to write to the governor or sue the school. With a sick child, and trying to do my own divorce, it was just too much (plus I am not well myself). My daughter’s CC at school said she will put a note in with her letter, because she witnessed me trying to get the grades from March-June.

As for our finances, my husband’s paycheck would go into a joint money market account that we bought groceries, medications, and gas with. We have no assets except the house, but the debt is higher than what it is worth in today’s market. My husband cannot make payments so we get a note on our door to call the bank weekly. They will not refinance or modify the loan, so they want to foreclose. My daughter hasn’t bought clothes in nearly three years. We go out to eat only on special occasions. The house is in both my husband’s name and mine, but the mortgage is in his name. We lease a car that he pays, and he also pays the insurance on it. He had been paying the electric, oil and telephone bills until late when his client stopped buying, so he is not getting commissions.

I am not working and have not worked in 24 years. We are married 28 yrs. I’ve had three cancers, and I also took care of my terminally ill parents in my home until their deaths. I couldn’t leave my husband while my parents were alive, because I had to care for them. It was a living hell being abused.

Since his arrest last May, he has put very little in the account for us to live on, because we have two residences and two cars (he has a rental car to get to work). He was supposed to pay the deposit on my daughter’s school tuition last May, and he did not. In August I was told my daughter could not register for classes until he paid the $2000 deposit. Once he agreed, they registered her. They really adore her, because she is a sweet kid who never gets in trouble, doesn’t drink or take drugs. I am blessed. She works so hard to succeed despite all the stress from home and her cognitive issues, chronic fatigue and horrific scalp pain (from the lyme). She never gives up. To reverse the hypoperfusion, she will need to be on IV antibiotics ($2000 a week that my insurance currently will not pay for, but are reconsidering; however, my daughter does not want to do it because of college apps and upcoming SATs - she’s trying one more time to see if she can do better; I doubt it, but I want to encourage her). She’s on oral meds, but has since stopped taking some of them due to candida and medication fatigue. I give her lots of probiotics, but those are very expensive, and right now I can’t afford them.

I served my husband in July 2011, and each and every time, he did not show up for court. The judge awarded me sole legal custody. I could not fill out a financial affadavit either, because my husband will not give me any financial information. He won’t fill out his form either. I have to subpoena him this next time I go to court, and then if he does not show up with the financials, the judge will have the marshalls bring him into court. We haven’t been able to do a single college visit, simply because we can’t afford it. I was hoping to get fee waivers, but I don’t know if that will be possible. I honestly feel like I’m going to crack up at this point, but I have to stay strong for my daughter. She does not have, nor has she ever had, a relationship with her father.

The situation has gotten worse. The night before school started, he still hadn’t paid the $2000, and so I told the school to take the last $1900 out of the account. They did, and then I paid the $100 to them from the small amount of money I have in a single account.
Our phones have been turned off three times in the past year, and the other night the power was turned off because my husband did not pay the bill. I paid half of it, because that’s all I could pay. The power company put a medical waiver on the account. I am down to my last $400, and I need to buy food, gas, medications ($600 a month co-pay on my daughter’s meds; they are very expensive). I’m waiting for someone to tow the car any minute, because he might not be making lease payments either.

My husband is not paying his rent from the account where his paycheck was going into so he must have some other account which of course I don’t have access to or know anything about. The bank is about ready to foreclose on the house since they keep putting notices on the door, and my husband won’t give me any information nor will the bank (I feel like we are being terrorized). The judge cannot award me alimony until the financial affadavits are completed and brought to court (which I don’t see happening unless he is subpoenaed to do so).

I’m a nervous wreck over all this, and I don’t know how to file the FAFSA since I am the custodial parent. I just want the divorce, but we desperately need to keep medical coverage. I will get alimony (providing he keeps his job). I might be able to subpoena his company, but he has threatened me not to (given past abuse, I am a frightened to do so). Child support stops at 18 where I live (there really isn’t any now anyway except for medical benefits, food and gas for the car). Since he is not making mortgage payments and it looks like he isn’t able to afford our utilities now (he claims he is not getting commissions; his client is simply not buying), we are really in a bind. I don’t know what the school will do since he is not able to make tuition payments for the rest of the year. My daughter’s CC wants her to apply early, and try for scholarships and fin aid. All her teachers have written their LORs and uploaded it for the common app. My daughter is working on her essays and supplements.

We don’t need this kind of stress right now, because my daughter is sick, I have vascular issues, and it is senior year. I don’t want the colleges to know about the DV, as they might judge her. She has nothing to do with any of this.

Even though we’ve lived separately since May 2011, I don’t know if he will claim us on his taxes (most likely will) but he hasn’t filed yet. Do I tell the schools I am in the process of divorce? I can tell them we’ve been separated since May 2011, but I would hate to have to go into the details. I am not working because of my health, and the long commute to school. At my age (59), it will probably be difficult to find work having been out of the workplace for 24 yrs, but I would like to try something, so I can regain my financial independence. I know it will tough, but anything will be better than staying married to an abuser. I do not want to go to social services (never have in my life, it’s just too humiliating), but given what is happening of late, I fear I may have no choice.

Should i email FAFSA to find out how to proceed since this is such a complicated case? Do I explain all this to colleges when applying for financial aid? It would be so dreadful to have to do so.

Thank you.