Family Dilemma, Advice needed (long post)

Youdon_tsay
Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:48:07 +0000

I have a rich BIL. He has been very generous with his time and money. We simply don’t ask for financial favors and have even deferred one very generous offer. I find that sometimes he just doesn’t “get” what we normal people are going through. He offered to sell dh his used fancy SUV for a steal, and it probably was, but dh had to tell him, “That’s almost 3/4s of my annual salary.” :rolleyes:

That said, one thing I do appreciate is an open relationship about the financial realities. I would call brother 2 and say, “Dh would be happy to contact BMOC about your ds, but I have to tell you that I’m still bothered by what happened with dh’s bid on that project a few months ago. I know I should have said something then, but I guess it’s coming back up for me because you’re asking him for a favor and when he did the same of you, you claimed to have no ability to influence the contract decision. That really stung at a time when we really needed the help.”

Would you feel comfortable saying that? What harm would come of it?

I kind of disagree that it’s just between you and the nephew. One, the dad asked, not the nephew. And two, there’s obviously residual hurt about the contract, and it’s best to get that cleared up now and continue to let it fester.