Family Issues / Alcoholism

gh05t
Thu, 25 Jan 2007 23:35:44 +0000

I’m sorry that this dosn’t have much to do with college, but hopefully somebody can help me out with this.

This year I have been staying home and commuting to school.

My parents separated when I was young (2nd grade), due to my father’s chronic alcoholism. The last time I spoke with him was the summer between 5th and 6th grade, and it is my understanding that his alcoholism is still very bad.

During high school I usually didn’t spend that much time at home with my mom, but now I am not as social as I was in high school because all of my friends went away to college. I never really noticed that my mom drinks every night, but she does and has for a long time. She dosn’t get drunk, but she usually has 3-5 servings of alcohol, she’s about 100 pounds if that makes a difference. She also smokes (cigarettes) in secret, even though she “quit” about eight years ago.

I’m having trouble identifying if there is a problem with my mom, and if there is, if I can do anything about it. I know that it’s not my place to tell her what to do, but I still can’t help but feel bad about it.

I’ve tried bringing up these issues a few time, but it becomes really difficult. She brings up substance “abuse” issues that I had during high school, which were really more of a social thing that I don’t think she understands. I also don’t think whatever issues I may have / have had are relavent, and they certainly don’t justify whatever problems she may have.

I can’t help but feel guilty about this, even though I know it’s not really my fault. I feel like it’s my job to rescue my parents (both my mom and dad), but at the same time I have my to deal with my own life, and I kind of powerless to make any change.

My sister (and only sibling) has some issues as well, but she has been working very hard on them and makes progress every day, but still has problems.

I will be away from home for Spring 07 onward. The distance will probably help me, but I don’t know what to make of the whole situation.

Does anyone have advice for me?