Father-daughter relationship

fredo
Mon, 02 Jan 2006 11:07:25 +0000

Be the designated driver for all of her and her friends social forays. Yes, it’s annoying to be picking up from the movies at 11:30 at night but you will learn so much on those car rides: you’ll know all her friends, you’ll overhear amazing conversations (some of them actually intellectually stimulating) but keep your mouth shut on the ones that make your jaw drop. It’s like a secret passage into the teen and pre-teen world.

When she does tell you something in confidence and asks you not to tell, respect that. The very worst thing is to have her tell you something and then you tell a friend and all of a sudden it gets back to her. But when you respect that confidence, she’ll be so much more inclined to keep confiding in you and maybe, just maybe, eventually even - hold on to your hats! - ask your advice.

Be a presence. Be there. It’s very easy sometimes to let mom run the show and dad take a backseat but she needs to know there’s a very visible, involved dad.

Just the fact that you’re here on CC asking for advice tells me you’ll be great. Obviously, you care greatly about being a good dad and that’s the most important thing.

I’m a mom but I think this applies to both dads and moms: I know I’ve made mistakes with my kids - not because I didn’t love them but because I didn’t know any better. I’ve tried to make the love I give them be more than the mistakes I’ve made.

Don’t be afraid to admit you’ve made a mistake. Some men (and women but I think more of a male characteristic) have a very difficult time admitting they’re wrong. Our children need to know that it’s okay to make a mistake - nobody’s perfect.