Feedback on Essay? Taking the SAT in 3 weeks!

jamanda
Sun, 04 Jan 2015 01:04:30 +0000

Is an idealistic approach less valuable than a practical approach?

Every New Year, many people set resolutions and promise themselves they will actually follow through with them. However, more than half of those resolutions never make it pass the first month. Usually, these goals are nothing too crazy or impractical. If so many people cannot make these relatively simple resolutions, than an idealistic approach is even more unfeasible. Through historical and contemporary examples, a practical approach to great ideas and goals is more valuable and effective than an idealistic one.

In the first half of the 1800s, the anti-slavery movement became very prominent in the United States of America. Most Northerners wanted gradual emancipation of slaves. There was a small group of idealists called Abolitionists who argued for immediate emancipation of all slaves and integration of African Americans into white society. Their goal, while morally convincing, was not practical at all. There is no way that the South could just all at once free all their slaves without any repercussions because the Southern economy depended on slave labor in the cotton fields. Furthermore, the North’s manufacturing industry also relied on cotton, so the entire economy of the United States would plunge if the Abolitionist’s idea was implemented. With gradual emancipation, Congress could argue for freeing slaves one state at a time, which would allow the nation more time to recover from a change in jobs.

In a similar sense, a Brazilian college student had a great ambition to improve education for poor children in Africa. He did not want little kids to experience a lack of learning like he had for the first 10 years of his life. In 2009, Andre Barros started to draft a plan to travel to three countries in Central Africa and build schools, install water sanitation pumps, and provide teachers, hot lunches, and supplies. He began to raise funds for his project, and although he received some donations, it was not even close to the amount he needed. Barros did have a great idea, but it was too idealistic. Instead, he should have only focused on one country and one improvement solely such as building schools. When Barros realized he could not carry out his plan like he intended to, he became very upset. A reasonable and workable attack would have allowed him to succeed.

The Abolitionists and Andre Barros proved that while they aimed high, their idealistic approach led them to failure. If failure occurs, then the value of the initial idea is diminished. To ensure success and value for a great idea to change the world, a practical approach must be utilized.

What kind of transition should I use in between examples? And how do I get it under 25 minutes! I’ve been hitting about 30 minutes every time and it is so frustrating.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!