Feeling guilty....should I feel this way? HELP

JL50ish
Sat, 18 Oct 2008 17:04:58 +0000

Pensive…>>> I know I’d feel torn, as you do, but no need to.

My d is applying to all state universities–she is a national merit semi-f and can get in-state tuition at 3 of them. It is ridiculous to graduate in debt, IMO. If your d is hardworking (sounds like she is!) she can get a great education and have plenty of fun too at your state univ. I would just go with that.

Initially, we were all for schools like johns Hopkins (her dad went there), etc. but then got very realistic. The cost is just too prohibitive. State univs are more than adequate. <<<

Your D can get tuition and board (and perhaps a few other goodies - such as a laptop and $$ for overseas travel) at other states’ uni’s as a NM. She needs to cast her net a bit wider… May I ask which state you are from?

We had a “big” (sometimes a bit loud) conversation with our son when he was a NM. He felt that he “earned the right” to go to a “dream school” ( he was Val, had a 4.7 GPA, bunch of APs, very high SAT & ACT). We were able to convince him that he can go to a “dream school” as a graduate school - which is really more important. Also, he will more likely be able to afford to payback such student loans with a grad degree from an Ivy or similar school - if loans are needed. Plus, we will be in a better situation to help him after having accepted such a great NM scholarship for undergrad.

I completely agree that state uni’s are more than adequate - especially if they are flagship and/or associated in some way with some major industry (such as being located near a great source of careers). And, of course, if the state uni is known to be strong in a student’s chosen major.