Feeling guilty....should I feel this way? HELP

JL50ish
Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:31:04 +0000

OP >>> Feeling guilty…should I feel this way? HELP

Our HS senior has always been a very above-average student. GPA 3.8+ unweighted, 4.3+ weighted, high-level courses, great ECs (but no leadership roles). She’s had to help out a LOT at home due to a chronic family illness. What little savings we have is nearly depleted and is an extremely feeble retirement at that. Our daughter works, but is required to pay for all her expenses, so has saved very little. We do have home equity, but can’t tap it. Family business has debt and most of our extra money goes toward paying that down and cost of living in general.
QUESTION: Our daughter will receive scholarships paying roughly half of the cost of our state schools, but she’d love to go out of state. I don’t know how we could afford it. We can’t even afford family airfare for trips to visit family back home. AGI last year (small business) was its all-time best at $75K, but will be a less this year due to economy.
I don’t know what to tell our daughter. Should I tell her to go ahead and apply and then be disappointed when the schools require a high EFC? I’m assuming they will because of our home equity. The chronic illness of one of her parents has strained out ability to survive, let alone save, throughout her lifetime, and our dear daughter has not only helped at home with chores but also with any personal expenses. I feel so bad. The state school she would go to is ranked in the #90s in U.S. News & World Report, but does have a party reputation. Would I be a better parent to suggest she stay in state for undergrad and save her money for grad school? I don’t mind very honest answers. <<<



What are her ACT or SAT test scores??? (Hopefully she has taken both since colleges will usually accept whichever is highest when figuring merit aid.)

May I ask which state you are in? Then we might be able to best suggest some schools that aren’t “too far” away, but will provide your dd with what she needs/qualifies for.

Also, what will her major likely be?