Fixed essay as per CC suggestions. Readers?

Tizil7
Mon, 01 Aug 2011 17:41:11 +0000

It wouldn’t make sense to read just the second draft. I would be able to better gauge your improvement if I read both the versions. If you see fit, PM me :)

I can help with grammatical mistakes and cohesiveness of the essay as a whole. Won’t forget spellings as well.