Frat Disaster, What to Do?

oldfort
Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:22:50 +0000

My older daughter was stalked by a boy who thought they had a relationship when she was in college. It went on for over 2 years, while in school and after. It got scary at some point.
In the OP’s case it is bullying, but the end result is still intimidation and limiting the son’s ability to enjoy his life.
Social media works both ways. Your son can view those girls social media to know where they are going to be and he can try to avoid those places. Your son should also download any social media that’s threatening to him as evidence.
I would suggest for your son to keep track of calls/texts from those girls as evidence someday. He should not respond to those girls because they are looking for reactions. He definitely shouldn’t have a 1:1 with the ex because she could then accuse him of worse things (he said, she said).
Your son can also video incidences of harassment. Of course, if those girls are smart they would know he could use those videos as evidence or be shared on social media. I don’t think any sorority would want to see their sisters behaving badly.
In my daughter’s case, we didn’t file for a restraining order because we would need to list all places this person had to stay away from, which would kind of defeat the purpose.
I did have to step in at some point by contacting the boy’s parents to ask for help. I was lucky that the father was reasonable (not the mother, they were divorced). He said his son was bipolar and was on and off meds. He promised to get his son the help he needed.
We got a lot of advice from police, lawyer, school…the consistent one was not to engage and move if necessary. They said what we could best hope for was for the boy to turn his attention some where else.
For many years, I stalked this boy’s social media to know where he was and to warn D1 if/when he was going to be around where she was.