Do your parents know that you are not in school? Who is paying for your apartment in SL?
Go to a community college on Missouri which appears to be your home state (or have your parents relocated to a different state?). Get yourself on track to do well. The CCs have articulation agreements with four year colleges in your state. You will need to discuss how your disciplinary issues might impact acceptance at a four year college…but do so have this conversation.
My dad lives in California and there is an exception called the Condit Bill in the California residency classification law that would allow me to be classified as in-state student in California.
I do realize that I have a weed problem now. It’s not that I’m craving weed, but it’s hard for me to resist when my closest friends ask me to smoke and it costs me nothing, so I ended up smoking 3 or 4 days a week. I’m definitely stopping now and waiting to see the difference it will make. I’m also having a psychological evaluation with a SLU psychologist to see if I have any psychological problems that I need treatment for.
I’m kind of reluctant to start a drug/alcohol treatment. I think that I have enough determination to stop using drugs altogether and that my alcohol use had never been a problem. The other factor is that I’m really on a budget now and want to have my ends meet first.
I’m wanting to move to CA because I’m wanting to have a fresh start as soon as possible and moving there seems to give me more future opportunities. Another reason I’m not wanting to stay at SLU is because the lifetime probation will limit my opportunities to study abroad and apply for graduate school, both of which I’m planning on. I could probably put up with not studying abroad, but what do you think about the impact of this suspension on my graduate school admission?
My mother knows my situation and she is being supportive and paid for this month’s lease. My lease is short term till the end of this year. At that time I’m either going to California or taking a prolonged work vacation in China, depending on whether I’ll come back to SLU.
I also forgot to mention that I’m half Chinese half American. I speak Chinese, English, German and conversational Spanish.
Thank you all for your advice! It’s helping me to realize the magnitude of this incident and changing the way I think about my situation. At the moment I’m really just deciding between SLU and California and I’m wanting to know which would give more opportunities in the future. You guys have convinced me that I shouldn’t lie about my attendance at SLU, but would it ever be an obstacle if I ever try to transfer to say UCLA after attending community college for two years with a good GPA?
As I suggested earlier, you need to have the conversation about your disciplinary issues at SLU with there transfer advisor at the community college.
Get a copy of your college transcript. Does this disciplinary action appear on the transcript?
Were you prosecuted for illegal use of drugs? If so…that WOULD create an issue if you were found guilty, especially in terms of receiving any financial aid.
I know you think you can kick your driv habit all by yourself, but really…it’s not an easy thing to do. If you have insurance that will rehab, please consider doing it. It’s a very strong investment in your future.
And lastly…there are a lot of public universities in CA. UCLA is one. You don’t have to go there. Keep your options open.
Has @Hanna weighed in?
Harvard Extension means paying rent in Cambridge, or in the area, the most expensive rents in the nation. There are plenty of adult learner, extension or continuing ed classes all over the country, but you are still in range for a more traditional college experience if things straighten out.
I know plenty of talented successful students (and grads) who smoke week frequently, without any trouble. I think therapy is a good idea to uncover what the problem really is.
I know plenty of college drop-outs (and kids who never went to college) who smoke weed frequently.
There are also plenty of folks who are college grads who smoke weed…frequently.
Not sure what your point is.
To the OP…you need to get your own substance abuse sitatuin under control.
Sometimes that means hanging out with different people if your current friends make that difficult.
@thumper1 My point? Maybe that OP began thread because he was kicked out of college for drug use and admits he has a weed problem. And that he is undergoing psychological testing to see if he may have underlying issues that may need treatment, a condition that frequent marijuana use may be masking. Of course, the ‘real’ problem is the LSD, which he likely never would have taken if not high. I don’t see that it is pertinent or helpful to point out there are lots of college grads who smoke weed frequently, when this 18 year-old has just taken a serious, though not yet irreparable, blow to a college career.
Just because some random people like us out on the Internet might say that you smoking weed isn’t a big deal doesn’t mean that we really know everything about your situation or that you should take all of our opinions here seriously.
That being said, if YOU feel that your drug use has become a problem, then it IS a problem. You’re demonstrating some maturity by recognizing that you’re in a situation of your own doing and now you have to deal with the consequences. Seeing a psychologist on campus is a really good idea. And yes…you can definitely transfer to a California university even if you go to a community college for 2 years. CA has many excellent universities - it’s not just UCLA or Berkeley.
If you are serious about wanting to step away from the drug use and if you find it far too tempting to use drugs when invited by your friends, then you need to make some new friends. You need a supportive group of friends who aren’t into smoking weed, dropping acid, and using other illegal or controlled substances. Sure, a lot of college students do end up dabbling in that at some point.
FWIW, one of my friends in college was high so much on every single weekend that I seriously don’t remember seeing him sober for 2 years. BUT then when he was a senior, he decided that his drug use was turning into an addiction and he wanted to figure out why he was doing it…in other words, deal with whatever the skeletons were in his closet so he wouldn’t go to drugs anymore in order to deal with his problems. So he went to the campus counseling center for help and it did wonders for him. He graduated from college and went into the working world and became a regular member of society and is just fine today.
The reason for the above example:
To demonstrate that while what you did was really dumb, you are making some good choices right now that will help you learn from your mistake and turn your life in a positive direction. Recognizing that there’s a problem is the first step in fixing it.
I began smoking weed in Germany where it was basically legal. I lived 20 miles away from Holland where it was completely legal. Even my host brother back then smoked weed and there was as much stigma toward smoking there as we have toward drinking. For a long time I just smoked once
Whoa- you DO have a drug problem. MOST adults, including most college students, do not use marijuana or even much alcohol on an everyday basis. Those that do have serious issues. You need help, trying to go it alone will not work. There will always be ways to be with users around and you will fall into that crowd. Just because a drug is legal, such as alcohol and tobacco are in the US, does not mean that regular use is good for you. I’m speaking about the effects on your brain/thinking and your body. From a medical/physician’s point of view.
You need some lifestyle changes. Post # 29 points out some things you need to take seriously. You let drugs interfere with your life, time for professional help. Just changing friends is not likely to prevent you from regressing. Things will get tough or opportunities will arise that you won’t resist…
You came to parents here for advice. Enough are telling you to get help. No excuses, telling yourself you can handle things. You need coping skills- get professionals involved. NOW. This is like treating any other disease/illness- waiting will only make things worse and intervention now can make a huge, forever difference.
Enough on my soapbox.
Repost:
I began smoking weed in Germany where it was basically legal. I lived 20 miles away from Holland where it was completely legal. Even my host brother back then smoked weed and there was as much stigma toward smoking there as we have toward drinking. For about a year and half I just smoked occasionally and it was never a problem.
My personal problem was one with my step-dad, a problem I always had since before I started smoking weed, but I definitely used it to cope with these stress once I came back from Germany. He was a traditional authoritarian parent and wanted me to do everything his way. For a long time I tried to comply but I just couldn’t sometimes, and he would take that personally. The conflicts escalated partly due to my compliance getting worse and partly due to his ongoing divorce with my mother. The conflicts ended up with us agreeing on me moving out by the end of my junior year. I have suffered bad grades in my last semester of junior year partly due to these problems and I thought it was better to just apply to college than finishing up my senior year, so I ended up getting a GED, talking to my GC and getting into SLU.
I talked about these during my psychological evaluation and my psychologist suggested me to get an ADHD and ODD evaluation, something my friends and I long suspected. I believe that these are at least partly the underlying causes for the conflicts I had with my stepdad, and it might also be what I’m trying to cope with by smoking weed.
Aha- you have insight. Now you need to use professionals to learn different coping strategies when life is rough. Take that step. College will still be there next year, and you’ll be better equipped to handle it regardless of stresses and availability of drugs.
Borrowing from what some others have said and including maybe a couple things of my own:
Once you are honest and realize what you’re dealing with, you can combat it. It will be easier to do it without hiding, so telling friends and family would be best. But i understand that’s difficult – it’s hard sometimes to admit our mistakes. The most important thing is that you own it, face it, take control of it and either end it or curb it to the point that it ceases to negatively affect you. I suggest dropping it entirely. There are other, far less expensive, and less destructive/harmful ways to have a good time.
Bullet points:
Your life is far from over. You’ve received a wake-up call and managed to avoid prison, a lengthy hospital stay and long-term injury, and death… so consider yourself pretty lucky. You can lead an outstanding life, starting now. As Nike used to say, just do it.
Your suspension was not a result of smoking weed, at least not directly. It was the LSD that brought police involvement and hospitalization.
I am not advocating that you smoke weed: there is a difference between use and abuse and only you know which you tend towards.
However, I am saying that marijuana is unlikely to be your actual problem. Now that you have given more information, I think that is the case and having a counselor help you through whatever transition is in store, is a good idea.
From your initial post, I thought it was jumping the gun to start discussing your “drug problem.” You have problems but I am not sure they are drug problems. If you do have a drug problem, get help.
Things can turn around for you, believe me. I know a kid at Harvard who had almost the exact same thing happen to him, and he went back and thrived after a year and a half out.
Two out of three of my kids cannot indulge in alcohol or week due to medical issues but during college (both were at Ivies) they hung out with kids who did, Sorry, it was considered normal behavior but everyone could tell the difference when someone developed a problem.
Getting any drug from a dealer you don’t know is always a problem, period, whether or not you have a drug problem.
^getting drugs from a drug dealer you’ve never met, after getting high on another substance, is indicative of a drug problem AND other problems. Getting kicked out of school and risking one’s life for an acid trip is indicative of problems that need fixing immediately if OP wants to “turn his life around”. OP is wise to seek help NOW.
OP: what’s your actual plan for the upcoming days - and for the semester?
Do your parents know you’ve been suspended? What do they recommend?
Has your father indicated he’d be okay with you moving in with him? Does he have a health plan
where you can continue having therapy/counselling?
Kids without extensive personal problems do these things too. The OP clearly has problems that need to be addressed, however, now that we have more information.
To the OP…is there anything else you need to add to this story? Drug use, dismissed from college, step parent issues, ADHD, lived abroad for a while, had tippy top stats.
And you don’t think you have a drug issue?
I am having a hard time believing this story as it unfolds.
I agree with you. you don’t tell a recovering alcoholic that is OK to drink because you know some successful people who do.
this kid straight-up says “I have a weed problem” and it seems to have impaired his judgment so badly that he could have killed himself dropping some bad acid from a “new dealer” – basically a stranger. i don’t see any point in telling him there are happy successful people who smoke weed. he needs to avoid it like plague.
yes he probably has other issues that need to be uncovered and dealt with. but one of those issues is weed. it doesn’t matter how many people don’t have a problem with it, as long as it’s a problem for him.