Getting written feedback on boarders' work

classicalmama
Sun, 03 Nov 2013 20:00:35 +0000

BigValley: as you can see, you’ve hit one of those topics that is so hot button on CC that people tend to not listen very well. As I understand it, you do not want to see your child’s assignments so that you can do them for him. You do not want to see drafts before he submits them so that you can edit them. You want to see the kinds of comment teachers write on his various draft so that you can see for yourself how effective the instruction is and how much your son is paying attention to his teacher’s comments.

If that’s correct, no, you’re not going to get anyone in to trouble. But is it necessary? Maybe, maybe not. There is a difference between what we have to do for our public schooled kids and our boarding school kids:

In public school, we often have to keep an eye on our kids’ work to fight what my husband calls the “crabs in a bucket syndrome”–that is, the tendency to underperform to fit in. Also, teachers who are trying to manage 150 students every day will not always comment on your child’s writing effectively.

At prep school, on the other hand, as others have pointed out above, teachers are, for the most part rigorous and demanding. Because they have small classes they can and do spend lots of time on thoughtful, helpful critique. And the students tend to set very high standards for themselves. They are constantly comparing themselves to other students, most of whom are as or more motivated and intelligent than they. All of that can add up to a lot of pressure.

Knowing you’re watching and evaluating the work might just add more stress without helping your student. That’s why some of the posters above are recommending that you might want to move into more of a cheerleading role or use the adviser and (eventually) the teacher’s comments as a way of assessing how effectively he’s being taught and how well he’s doing. At my kid’s school, those comments generally include a detailed description of what was taught that term, followed by a 1-3 paragraph evaluation or the student’s performance. And in English and history classes, that evaluation often includes specific feedback the teacher gave our son on his writing.

On the other hand, there are instances where kids feel reassured, not pressured, by having a parent take a look at their work. My son, for example, tended to skip over every positive comment and focus on the negative that year, and when he shared things with me, I was often able to redirect his gaze. Also, as chemchimney pointed out, some kids do fly under the radar, doing mediocre to sub-par work and slowly slipping downward. I’ve seen kids fail out of school that first year because no one saw what was happening until it was too late–teachers and advisers don’t know your kid well enough at that point to discern whether he just needs to adjust or catch up or is under-performing and needs some more direct intervention. In that case, an eye on the work early might well save everyone grief later on.

As long as you’re aware of the potential pitfalls and your kid is willing, chances are you’ll do what’s best. I do think you’ll feel much more informed and better once those first term comments roll in. Hope that helps a bit.