girls cutting

berurah
Sun, 17 Apr 2005 00:28:14 +0000

Berurah, how do you know who they are? And, how would a parent keep their kids away from anyone? Don’t we have to teach our kids how to make up their own minds and let them make their own choices, while keeping the lines of communication open and encouraging them to make healthy choices?



momsdream~First of all, I’d like to thank you for your exceedingly respectful tone and your opinion. I always value your input :).

I think I must have been a bit misleading in my statement about keeping my kids away from kids I perceive to be overly troubled or dangerous in some way. In fact, I have done exactly what you have said…I’ve taught my kids to make their own decisions about these things. Yes, I have “walked them through the process” from time to time, particularly with my girls who tend to share more emotional stuff with me anyway. In general I have a personal policy against “banning” stuff. From my observation, it seems to nearly always backfire, so in reality, I rarely, if ever, ban my kids from anything (save for terribly inappropriate movies/video games for the ones too young to handle them). What has worked with my kids is to set a standard of behavior, tell them why it is important, and then trust them to follow through. So far, so good, and well, the proof is in the puddin’, I guess.

Please don’t feel that my kids will be ill-equipped to go out on their own and handle difficult situations requiring a great deal of judgment. In fact, I think they will do beautifully, as they are now. :)

~berurah
p.s. I know who the “dangerous” kids are (not necessarily referring to the girls involved in cutting but to some of the others like my ex-best friend’s daughter) because my kids share nearly everything with me.