Girls...WTH?

BedHead
Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:51:12 +0000

THIS IS A REPOST, 'CAUSE THE LAST GOT CUT OFF…

Atlantiz: Two things you should keep in mind: 1) A lot of people won’t start a new thing before the old one is ended; some people just don’t like to do it that way. 2) Two people who go their separate ways when one or both of them go away to school nine times out of ten end up ending the relationship within the first 6 months. Christmas break is usually a great time. And a lot of times, it’s 'cause they met someone else. Maybe you should be that someone else.

So, she seems to be showing a lot of interest in you. It’s hard without being there to know if unconsciously or consciously she is playing the field and if she’s also expressing this interest to other guys. But I would not delay in expressing interest.

Go with the advice that I gave to the OP (my posts begin on page 5). The first thing you need to do is get some other dates going. But this is for you to do; don’t tell her.

And as you do that, work some game with her. Spend time with her, but don’t dote on her. Don’t move your schedule around a lot to be with her. Have your own life going. Find out what she likes without being obvious and do those things with her or take her to hear music she likes or something. But take it up some notches.

And when the mood is right – which you will have to work to set – make your move. DO NOT wait for her to say “I broke up with my boyfriend, so now I am available.” If you do wait for that, the follow up probably won’t be “so now I am available,” but “and started going out with someone else who I like a lot” if you wait too long.

Use the blacksmith rule: strike while the iron is hot.

If it bothers you that she has a boyfriend, keep things at kissing and talk to her about it. If she says, after kissing you or as you make your move, “I can’t do this, I have a boyfriend,” you can tell her simply “I know you have a boyfriend, but I had to do this. You are beautiful.”

If she continues asking, what do you mean, you say “you’re a beautiful woman. It’s really simple. I had to kiss you.” Don’t talk about it too much, if she keeps talking about it. Just say, “look. I get it. Okay, let’s move on.”
Don’t say: I like you a lot (let your kiss show that.) Be declaritive and strong. Don’t say “you’re a beautiful woman to me” say “you’re a beautiful woman.” Period. And don’t say “I know you don’t like me” or something like that. Just say, “It’s okay. Let’s move on.” If she’s hesitating, in other words, pull back. When you pull back in a situation like this, it is more likely she’ll move forward. If you say something like “I guess you don’t like me” then she will probably believe that she shouldn’t like you.

I don’t know what level of experience you are, but judging by the question, it seems you might be a little lacking (and that’s okay). If you don’t know how to kiss really well or something, this is going to sound crazy but you should consider it: find someone who doesn’t know anyone you know and who will never know someone you know (that is, someone from another town or the classifieds or something) and ask them or pay them $20 or whatever to teach you how to kiss. Some guys kiss well naturally, but other guys are much better for having been taught. Don’t make her be the one to teach you.

Again on the kissing thing, if you don’t have experience or enough experience: It would be really ballsy of you (if you’re from La Jolla) to go to a bar in LA or Orange County far away from La Jolla and approach some women (look for women several years older who you find attractive) and, smile and laugh and say “look, there’s something I have to tell you and it’s going to seem kind of crazy, but believe me, it’s not a line.” And then tell your story about how you are interested in this girl at school, but you need some help learning how to kiss better. And say, look I’ll buy you a drink, hell several drinks, if you’ll help me. Ask this if a woman is sitting alone (groups of women tend to worry what each other thinks and are more likely to rib you than help you), and approach several women until one says yes. Probably most of them will laugh at you, or rather with you, because they’ll think it’s very cute, particularly if they are ten years or more older than you. You may find no one who will do it, but it would be fun and believe it or not would help you with your game. If this doesn’t work, you could either find some class or maybe go to a club that has “women of loose morals” or something, I don’t know(but keep the lessons to kissing).

This latter is a thought, maybe not a good one for you. But remember: women like men who are self-assured and seem to know their way around women.

I hope some of what I said seems appropriate for you…My first response to your post was going to be a simple: “Is this a joke? It’s obvious! Seize the initiative.” But what I wrote is a more detailed game plan.

Oh, and by the way, you said she looks you right in the eyes a lot. Sometime/s when you are talking to her, stop talking and look into her eyes for a long moment. Don’t say anything, just look at her, as if expressing your longing or just studying her. And then smile or glance away or otherwise transition. Don’t stare too long, but long enough to let the moment fill with meaning.