Give mine a read?

GymnastKaori
Sat, 10 Jul 2010 02:53:03 +0000

I just felt inspired to go ahead and write my first draft of a college essay. It is pretty rough and I would really like some feedback and criticism on both the idea, presentation and mechanics. Just let me know what you think.
Oh, and it’s about gymnastics and music. I know that may seem cliche, but it was definitely the easiest topic to write about since I feel so passionate about both things. And I think I put a different twist on the presentation of the essay =)
Thank you in advance.