Giving advice

gardenstategal
Thu, 10 Aug 2017 19:51:52 +0000

I have a good relationship with a friend’s D, and they were embarking on a disastrous route. Neither her GPA nor her scores were competitive for the schools she was targetting. It’s hard to do this without sounding like a know it all who doesn’t value their kid, though.

I basically said “X is a great school and you’d do well there. Given how popular it is, and to make sure you can sleep at night, you should have some less competitive ones on your list too.” In this case, the "backup " I suggested is where she will be going next month. And quite happily as a branch campus of their state school was the only other place she got in. Her mom was convinced that her essay and unusual high school path would trump her stats, and she could not be persuaded otherwise.

It is often easier to offer your viewpoint (“I am wondering if I should encourage DK to look at CTCL schools/ schools where there is an honors college, etc”) and plant a seed than to disparage their approach.

But people need to find their own way on this. You can only offer input if they want it. Since you’re behind them, you may be a trusted (non competitive ) ear, but they may not feel you have much to offer in advice. The insides of your cheeks will ache from all the biting!