Going home every weekend? (overkilled topic I know)

1Dreamer
Thu, 22 Sep 2016 16:25:05 +0000

I know people are international or out of state and don’t have the luxury of doing any of that and that they have to deal with it, but why should I be miserable and bored because others have to be?

I was curious about where you went where everyone is bored and miserable and does nothing but drink. I thought maybe it was a small school in the middle of nowhere, but looking at a few of your other posts, that doesn’t appear to be the case (at all) and I see you have talked about being lonely, homesick, upset about not making friends soon enough, etc., so I think it may be worth considering whether it’s more about you feeling miserable and bored, and trying to convince yourself that others would go home every weekend if they could. I wasn’t close enough to go home often, but I also didn’t want to and I was far from miserable and bored.

It also looks like you dropped a class and are taking a lighter load than many others. Nothing particularly wrong with that in your first term if you were feeling overwhelmed by the workload and felt like you needed more time to adjust, but it sounds like you may have too much time on your hands now while others need to study more, and it may be contributing to your now feeling bored while others are busy studying, which is really what you’re there for.

So while I was going to say to do what works for you, I think you may just be homesick (not unusual) and not challenging yourself as much as you could be. I haven’t heard many argue that going home will stunt your independence. It’s more about integrating into your new environment, challenging yourself, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, and getting all you can out of college and the entire experience. It’s going to be much more difficult to meet people and adjust if you go keep going home every weekend.

Have you tried joining clubs and other things people suggested? Perhaps finding a job on campus? Volunteering? I had one term where I had to schedule all my classes on Monday and Weds. to get the classes and professors I wanted. Those were exhausting marathon days (9 in the morning until 10 at night) but it left me plenty of time to study and I still had enough extra time on my hands that I decided to sign up to be a volunteer tutor for underprivileged elementary school kids on a couple of those days. It was an incredibly fulfilling experience I’ve never forgotten, felt great to “give back,” and served as a great reminder of how truly fortunate I was to have the opportunities I did and to make the absolute most of them.

Just some things to think about. If you’re miserable, I think going home is better than falling into depression, but I would hope you give it more of a chance, go home less often, and push yourself outside your comfort zone a little more. Wishing you the best.