Grad Admissions essay help

MmeZeeZee
Sat, 19 Feb 2011 14:37:03 +0000

Okay, to answer two of your questions:


The essay structure.


It sounds like a resume without bullet points. If you have submitted your grades and CV already, then I would try to make it a little bit more narrative. To be fair, you have answered the prompt, which really does nothing to help guide you in terms of making this different to a CV. I think it’s very good, but also a very boring read. Sorry. I am not sure, however, that you could make it substantially more interesting. Perhaps just a little more narrative bringing it together? I think linking your experience to your motivation in each paragraph would help.


The diversity thing.


I’m the opposite. I have a lot of “diversity” but I don’t feel it’s relevant to who I am now. I don’t want to be a token or a statistic. I checked the answers for their anonymous census information questions, but my essay was about the opportunities I personally have had. I focused on one thing, my family, and the common thread laced through three generations (without mentioning race) that also highlighted diversity in the way people chose to use it, and then how that related to a decision I made that brought me to grad school. I don’t care if it didn’t answer the prompt. I had to write about something I was passionate about and that I felt honest sharing. I believe that diversity of thought is also valued so I hope they will appreciate it.

If I were you, I’d focus on an original interest or experience you have had which you can bring to the school. I don’t know about them but I personally would much rather be in school with a white guy who had a lot of original ideas and unique experiences, than a brown girl (which I am, LOL) who had a generic outlook and stereotypical background.