Grad gift for my son's long-time girlfriend

Pizzagirl
Sun, 29 Mar 2015 09:51:15 +0000

“(1) BOTH the OP’s son and his GF are graduating this year. I do think that if OP spends $300-500 on the GF’s present, her parents may feel pressured to spend an equal amount on OP’s S”

My parents were always very generous with gifts.

When I was dating / engaged to H, they gave him a Cartier watch. (I was like - huh? Where’s my Cartier watch? LOL)

And yes, since my parents and my ILs-to-be were of similar economic means, I would and did focus on a lot on … my parents gave us $X, how come your parents didn’t do the same whenever it came to birthdays, anniversaries, and so forth. And I know your parents can afford it because look, they just spent $ on blah-blah-blah for themselves. I resented it, and I steamed, and so forth.

And then I grew up, and became soooo much happier once I let go of those expectations. My H’s family aren’t gifters. That’s not what they are. And I was wrong for mentally comparing and contrasting. Just saying.

I’m not in the OP’s position, but I plan to spend what I want to spend eventually one day on a DIL or SIL, and I’m not going to be bound by worrying about what other people think – whether it’s not enough, or way too much, or whether the other side “should” spend more or less. It’s just not worth it.