Grade my ACT essay?

SweetlySpice
Fri, 03 Apr 2015 17:34:25 +0000

As the amount of time students spend watching television increases, teachers debate whether television channels should be required to devote at least 20 percent of their programming to educational shows about topics such as science and history. Some teachers support this policy because they think television is an ideal teaching instrument with a very large and very receptive audience. Other teachers do not support this policy because they think what is considered educational by some could be considered merely entertaining by others. In your opinion, should television channels be required to devote at least 20 percent of their programming to educational shows?

My essay:
When you think of your favorite show, what do you think of? It might contain comedy, drama, romance, or action. Many students do not think of Discovery Channel. Their short attention spans demand different sources of mental stimulation—sources of interest to them. Television channels devoting at least 20 percent of their programming to educational shows such as science and history may have students’ best interests in mind, but teachers would be better off letting students cultivate their own interests.

When students are forced to do things, they often feel more compelled to rebel. I personally have a father who I disagree with often. When he tells me to do something in a forceful manner, my first reaction is indignation. Students enjoy their freedom and dislike being bossed around. While some may say more educational television encourages learning, students learn best when they are self-motivated.

People have different interests, which is why there are so many different types of channels. What is socially acceptable may not be interesting to an individual who is looking for other things in life.

When students have freedom, they often succeed. Interests come naturally and do not need to be forced down people’s throats. Teachers should not support a policy of controlling television channels because it underestimates student’s’ abilities to learn on their own.

First time I took it, I got an 8, but the second time I got a 7. I know this one has really thin paragraphs, but I’m having some trouble coming up with ideas and rambling on like I should. I’ve heard length really makes a difference in the score. I spent too much time planning and staring at the paper blankly. I didn’t even finish writing down all that I’ve typed here! I also realize I didn’t create enough examples. What else am I doing wrong? What can I do to make it longer? Any help is appreciated!