Grade my essay pls

Fury29
Mon, 24 Aug 2020 11:27:12 +0000

Hey I’ve written this practice essay and I’ll be very grateful if someone graded it. This is the article- https://cdn.kastatic.org/KA-share/sat/sat-practice-test-9-essay.pdf. Here’s the essay-

In his article, “Why We Should Work Less”, Richard Schiffman argues in favor of relaxing the work-hours of average Americans. He depicts the destructive of the current system through personal anecdotes; refutes counter arguments using clear facts; strengthens his claim by providing relevant data.

Schiffman dives right into the issue by telling us two brief anecdotes that effectively portray the hardships that American workers have to go through because of the current culture of long work-hours. For instance, he says that one of his friends, “…is routinely forced to work late and at home on weekends- often without pay…”. He talks about another friend whose job was “killing” her as “…she takes her work home with her, which has taken a toll on her personal life, health, and sleep.” These anecdotes allow Schiffman to raise the issue in a way that draws the attention of the readers and set up a foundation for the facts and data that follow. Moreover, they allow those who have faced similar conditions to emotionally connect with Schiffman’s words and the unfamiliar ones to catch a glimpse of the real picture.

In the following paragraphs Schiffman refutes counter-arguments with facts and observations. For example, opponents of lenient work-hours claim that “…grueling work schedules are necessary to boost productivity” and use the troubles of US economy to justify their argument. However, Schiffman effectively counters the claim by providing a strong fact that “Americans already work hundreds of hours a year more than their counterparts in other developed countries.” Schiffman also shows that “…corporate greed, one created by financial entities” is responsible for the depressing US economy by notifying the readers of the soaring corporate profitability and worker productivity. These facts totally refute Schiffman’s opposing defenses. Furthermore, they help the readers realize that shortening work-hours is possible without major drawbacks. Schiffman also goes on to tell us about the positive effects of shorter workweeks that allow the readers to see his claims as beneficial. This also backup Schiffman’s claim logically.

Finally, Schiffman provides results of relevant studies that appeals to the readers’ sense of logos. For example, he tells us “…nearly half of Americans surveyed in 2004 by the Center for a New American Dream said that they would be willing to accept a smaller paycheck in return for more time with their families…”. Schiffman furthers his claim by talking about another study that estimates a decline of 20% in energy consumption if US was to emulate workweeks of Western Europe. If we look at how the data contributes to the overall article, we see that they provide a logical and statistical basis to all of Schiffman’s previous paragraphs. In fact, thee results leave very little for doubt and counter-arguments in the mind of the reader. The final paragraphs provide a fitting crescendo that drives Schiffman’s point home.

In conclusion, Schiffman reasons in favors of lenient work-hours and establishes it as logical and beneficial. He does so by mostly appealing to the readers’ sense of reason through anecdotes, facts, and empirical evidence.